Running From The Darkness
by chewynbj
Summary: Can anybody help me? Will I ever escape? I ask myself these questions every night before I go to sleep. The answers are always the same. Hopefully one day that will change. New Story Please Check it Out!
1. Chapter 1

**New story. It's gonna be a dark ride, so buckle up and enjoy the ride. The story will contain extreme content so be warned. I will post at the beginning of each chapter what it will be. The intro has not been beta'd so please excuse any mistakes. My beta will be back next week. If it's to extreme let me know and I'll delete it.**

**Running From The Darkness**

**Rating: R to NC-17**

**Summary: Can anybody help me? Will I ever escape? I ask myself these questions every night before I go to sleep. The answers are always the same. Hopefully one day that will change.**

**POV: Spencer's (I will let you know if it changes)**

Intro

Darkness invades my soul completely now. Pain, suffering, and fear are the only emotions I feel. It's all I've known and been taught for the last seven years.

"STUPID BITCH!" I can hear the flesh to flesh contact from my hiding place. He's been drinking again which is never a good thing for me. "WHERE IS SHE?!" Another hit resounds through the halls. "YOU"VE HIDDEN HER! I KNOW IT!" Slurring is evident in his voice this time.

"I don't know where she is. Please believe me." The pleas and cries in her voice is heartbreaking, but I know if I make myself known now it will be worse for the both of us.

A body crashes into the wall next to the closet where I'm hiding. The whimpering and cries of pain are easy to make out now. She's begging for mercy, but he will never show any. He is a monster. Uncaring and malicious are the only two words that come to mind when describing him. He is my nightmare. My reasons for sleepless nights and the reason I am alone in this world.

Another smack comes with another cry of pain, I begin to shake in my hiding spot because I know he will find me soon. Then their will be no mercy for me. He will do what he has done every night for the last seven years. There is no escape. The nightmare will never end. I am doomed to endure the tortures he sees fit to put me through each and every day.

The crying has stopped. He must have knocked her out again. My shaking and trembling body has become worse with each passing second. The panic has set in. It'll only take him a few minutes to find me.

The knob turning on the closet door captures my attention, and I become paralyzed with fear. He has found me. In a couple of seconds the darkness will be no more as the light starts to pour in from the door opening. The light stretches slowly across my body revealing every bruise and cut that was put there by his hands. The light reaches my eyes last. The sparkle of life and hope that use to be there is gone. It's been replaced with fear.

"There you are my darling." The smirk on his face sends chills down my spine. Tonight is going to be bad. "Bedroom now!" He points to my door. Terrified, I get up and make my way into my room. He follows closely behind smiling.

My eyes are dull and dead. Any and all hope of escape left me when we moved away from anybody and everybody that knew me.

"You know better than to hide from me." The slap comes quickly and hard, opening up the cut above my eye again. The second hit knocks me to the ground exposing my torso to him. A swift kick to my stomach leaves me gasping for air on the floor. Another follows only this time it lands on my exposed back.

Crying out, I beg him to stop even though I know it's pointless. He has just started with me for the night. It's only going to get worse.

Turning over to look at him again, I noticed he has already removed his belt and has undone his pants.

Snatching my arm, he lifts me off the floor before hurling me onto the bed.

Tears run freely as I feel my own pants being removed. "Think of anything else. Anything at all." I whisper to myself trying to block out what is happening. My eyes squeezed shut.

I think of my family. The ones I use to have that loved me and promised to always be there. I remember the picnics at the park and swimming in the pond. Laughing and smiling as I chase my two older brothers around the yard. My mom and dad watching from the front porch sipping on their lemonades.

All my happy pleasant memories are starting to fade with time. I wonder if I will ever be as happy as I use to be. I miss my family. I haven't seen them since I was ten years old.

A grunt above me brings me back to reality. He pulls his pants back up and walks out of my room for the night leaving me on my small bed in tears.

Stopping at my door, he makes one last comment. "Spencer, school starts next week. You'll be attending King High." He leaves me alone finally.

**Let me know if I should continue or delete. Ashley will be showing up soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is the next part. This chapter is not as dark as the last one but it still is very dark. The English teacher in the story was actually mind in high school. The story about what happened to her is real. It just happened a lot longer ago then six years. Questions of Spencer's family will be answered soon. Also I'm not using the guy's name just yet cause she doesn't feel he is human. You will find out soon enough who he is though.**

**Rating: R for abuse.**

**No beta yet. She will not be back until Friday or so. Please excuse any mistakes, I try but it's very hard to edit my own story properly.**

**Chapter 1**

The front door slamming alerts me that it is safe to leave my bedroom. He's left for work.

Every morning is the same, I sit in my room waiting for the door. His off days, on the other hand, are filled with secret trips to the bathroom and praying for the day to end. Usually, I busy myself with writing or drawing to take my mind off the hunger on those days. I'm lucky today is not one of those days.

Looking around my room, I realize how different my room is from when I was little. The only things I have are a small dresser and bed. My old bedroom was filled with stuffed animals, posters, and everything a girl's room should be. My bedroom represents me now perfectly, a empty shell.

"SPENCER! GET UP!" Nancy yells up the stairs. She's my adoptive mother. They took me in after the accident seven years ago.

Getting dressed this morning is proving to be a challenge in itself. At least my arm isn't broken this time.

Slowly, I walk into the bathroom next door to brush my teeth and take care of other business. The mirrors never lie in there. They always show the damage done and the hole of darkness that becomes deeper and deeper making it harder to escape. I hate seeing my reflection because the person staring back at me is not me. I know it is though. It always is. The only thing that changes in my reflection is the bruises.

"SPENCER! HURRY UP! WE HAVE A LOT TO DO TODAY!" Glancing at myself one last time, I prepare for the work ahead.

Nancy is waiting at the bottom of the stairs, she looks worse then I do. If that is even possible. The black eyes and bruised cheeks can not be hidden like the rest that I know are there. Her battle wounds are there because she tried to protect me. She hid me even though she knew the wrath that would fall upon her at his hands.

The sorrow on both our faces is evident. "I'm so sorry Spencer. I tried. I really did." I nod my head letting her know that I understand. "You need to start talking again Spencer. I know you can. I hear you at night when you dream." Wrapping my arms around myself and staring at the floor, I shake my head no. Sighing, Nancy continues "Come on. We have to clean the house before he gets home, or he'll be really angry."

The rest of the week is spent cleaning, hiding, and crying. The week went by really fast as did the bruises on my face. He has avoided my face saying stuff like "we don't want anybody asking questions." I wish they would though, but it's not like I would answer them. School starts tomorrow which mean instead of just being tortured at home, I'll get picked on and made fun of there too. Just because I don't talk, the other kids think I'm weird. Maybe I am.

"Get up." The covers are thrown off of me. He is towering over the top of me staring. Instincts kick in, and I try to cover myself with my hands. "The bus will be here in an hour." His rough uncaring fingers travel up my arms and to my face. They trace my jaw and lips before moving south again. A few tears escape as I feel his hand brush across my covered breast. He's smiling at me, and I begin to quake in fear. Leaning down he whispers to me "get dressed darling" before placing a kiss on my forehead. Just like that he is gone again.

Dressed in my usual clothes which are baggy jeans, long sleeve shirts, and slip ons, I make my way to the bus stop. They're only a couple of other kids there. All younger then me; they're probably freshman or sophomores. The ride to school is quiet. A few giggles and a few people point at me but for the most part leave me alone. The cut above my eye is still there. The bus stops at a rather large school. Great, this should be fun.

Walking through the crowded halls with my head down is not the best of ideas, I've already ran into several people who have been forgiven. My schedule says that I have English IV with Miss. Embrey. Now all I have to do is fine room number 246.

Searching for twenty minutes for my class, I am now ten minutes late when I find it. Everyone turns and stares at me as I enter the room. "Spencer Carlin?" The older woman with a kind face and smile asks. I nod my head yes then revert my eyes to floor. I hate when people stare at me. "Okay, well welcome and since to day is the first the day, I will not mark you tardy. Take a seat."

Taking a desk in the back of the room, I wait for her to begin. When she stands up, I notice that she uses a walker to move around. She doesn't appear to be that old. "Welcome to the first day of school. This year we are gonna be studying array of different books and poems. Most of your grades will be based upon your work packets I give you." She walked slowly over to the podium and took a seat on the stool. "I guess everyone is wondering how come I use a walker. Well it use to be a motorized scooter but after running over a couple of freshmen, I had to get rid of it." A couple of people chuckle. "Real story is that about six years ago, I was in Europe with a group of students. The bus actually came out of nowhere. It ran over both of my legs crushing them. I'm very grateful to be here today, and I love the fact that I am still able to teach." Miss. Embrey talked about the different books we would be covering and poets. I looked around the room at the different people.

My eyes stopped on the girl sitting next to me. She was beautiful, confident, and everything I'm not. Her curly locks and whisky colored eyes intrigued me like never before. The smile on her face lit up all her features. I guess I was staring a bit to long because she turned to look at me. She was still smiling when she talked to me. "Hi, I'm Ashley Davies and your Spencer. Right?" her voice was warm and inviting not laced with venom like everyone else I meet.

Unable to talk, I shake my head yes and mange a closed lip smile. "Well, it's great to meet you. Hopefully I'll see you around." She gone in a second as the bell ring. Was she really there? Did she actually talk to me? I hope she is in more of my classes.

To my delight she was. We had a total of four classes together and lunch. She sat and actually talked to me during lunch. I never did utter a word. I would simply nod my head or smile.


	3. Chapter 3

**The next one! This is more of a filler chapter. It's short but I didn't want to get into the next part of the story in this one. This will be one of the lighter chapters. A small reference to violence other then that it's pretty tame. My beta will be back on Thursday, so I'm real excited about that.**

**Snowdrop you wanted to know what I dream at night. Are you sure? Basically my dreams are very random they range from very sweet dreams about my kids to being trapped in a building where in every room something is trying to kill me.**

**Rated PG-13**

**Chapter 2**

Sitting in my last class of the day, I'm dreading going back to that house.

The clock on the wall has become my enemy. It slowly counts down to my doom. He is home today waiting for my return. I will not be able to sneak past to the safety of my room. My only hope is for him to be already passed out on the couch. Wishful thinking on my part.

My last hour of school is spent listening to the teacher, Mrs. Meadows a heavy set middle aged woman, talk about the different computer programs we will be learning about all year.

"Everyone take out a sheet of paper. I want you to write down what programs you are familiar with. Then turn them in." Mrs. Meadows spoke before returning to her desk.

Pulling out my notebook, I begin to write down my very small list. Besides school, I never have excess to one. I finish quickly while everyone else continues to write. Flipping to another page to doodle, I become engross to my task at hand.

I never notice my sleeve riding up revealing some of my bruises; Ashley did however. She was sitting beside me.

A minute later a note was placed in front of me. It read _What are you doing after school? _She is going to want to talk to me, and I haven't spoken a word in to anyone in five years. I would rather go with her then go home, but he'll be seething if I don't come straight home. So I reply with a _I can't. Have to go home right after school._ I slide it back over to her. Not even a second later, the note is back in front of me. _Do you want a ride home?_

The bell rings, and I follow Ashley outside to her car. "Well here is my baby." She stops in front of a black Porsche. "Get in."

Sitting in the car, Ashley is staring at me. She waiting on directions to my house. "Spencer if you don't tell me how to get to your house. I'm just gonna take you home with me." Her smile causes her nose to crinkle.

Opening my mouth, I try to speak but nothing comes out. Instead, I reach for my notebook and write the address down for her. She looks at it for a moment before frowning. "Why won't you talk?"

I write her a reply. _I haven't talked for years._

"Why? Does it have to deal with the bruises I saw on your wrist?" I shake my head yes and turn to stare out the window.

"Hey Spencer, listen to me." She places a hand on my arm, so naturally I flinch away at the contact. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Ashley is whispering now. I nod again letting her know it's okay. "You need to talk Spence. It's not good to let everything build up inside of you. I'm here if you ever want to talk." She puts her hand on me again; this time I don't move away.

We are almost to my house now. I can see his car in the driveway. The temporary relief I had is gone. The panic has set in now. My heart is pounding so hard, I don't even hear the engine to the car shut off.

"Do you want me to come in with you?" Oh god that would not go over well with him. I tell her no with my head while staring at the floor board.

"Are you sure?" She looks like she is actually concerned about me.

Instead of shaking my head, I do the unthinkable because I really want to know.

"Why?" I speak for the first time in five years to someone else. It's said just above whisper. If she wasn't listening closely, Ashley would of never heard it.

I finally spoke.


	4. Chapter 4

**I sorry to disappoint ya'll with another update tonight but with all the love I received from the last chapter I couldn't help myself.**

**Rating: NC-17 for violence, abuse, & language **

**You are warned!**

**Chapter 3**

Somewhere I read that silence was the loudest cry for help. I've been silent for five years, and she is the first person to offer help just by listening to me. I use to pray every night for some one to listen to me, to not ignore what was there all alone. Years I prayed for it and now it comes from a girl I only met six hours ago. I just want to know why she cares about me.

Eyes bugging out and a holy shit expression plastered on Ashley's face "you talked. You talked to me."

"Why?" I whisper again.

Confused she asks "why what?"

"Why do you care?" Unable to look at those whiskey colored eyes, I focus on my hands in my lap.

"I just do. Spencer, I can't explain it either because this is new to me too." She takes a moment to put her thoughts together. "In English this morning, I felt you staring at me. Like you where drawn to me or something. The strange thing is I was too. I had to get to know the girl with the ocean blue eyes who seems so sad and lost." Ashley turns to look out her window taking in my house with her eyes before continuing. "I felt we both needed a friend."

"I'm sure you have plenty of other friends" I choke out. Ash's head shakes no.

"I don't. After everyone found out, they shunned me. All my friends left." Running a shaky hand through her hair, she relaxes back into her seat.

I look at her to go on. I've talked a lot today with her but it's still hard. She seemed so self-a-surd at school. I guess everyone pretends to be something they're not.

"I'm gay" She looks away again. I start to say something but she cuts me off. "I understand if you don't want to be friends with me now. It was just nice to have one for a day."

"Ash...ley" Placing a hand on her arm, it my first time touching some one of my own free will in a long time. "I don't care that your gay and you're right. I could use a friend too. " I catch movement in the house out of the corner of my eye, and I know I better get in there quickly. "I got to go. I'll see you tomorrow. I promise."

Walking up to the front door, I close in on myself. Past visions of being thrown across the floor or into the stairs are running through my mind. My punishment will not be easy if he saw me with her. Reaching my shaky hand out to the door knob, I turn it allowing me to enter into the gates of hell.

The door slams shut before I can even remove my backpack. I jump around to be met with the eyes of a monster. "Hey darling. I missed you today."

The backpack falls to the ground, and I start to slowly back away until my feet hit the steps of the stairs causing me to fall on to them. Tremors rake through my body as he approaches. The rapid thumping of my heart is pounding hard enough to pop out of my chest as his hand come down and closes around my neck. His hand squeezes tighter cutting of my air, my hands pull at his trying to free me from his grasp.

I look for any help anywhere but there is none. "Did you miss me today? Did YOU!" He squeezes his hand, closing off all air flow. "Say it! Say I missed you daddy." He squeezes tighter before throwing me back onto to the steps again. I cough and gasp for air but refuse to speak.

Pulling myself into a fetal position on the stairs, I brace for the first hit. Luckily or unluckily depending on how you look at it, I didn't have to wait long. He brought his belt down across my side striking my arm and part of my back with each blow. "SAY IT!" He yells.

Balling up to protect my head, he keeps up the rigorous blows to my side and back all the while yelling at me to call him daddy. After what seems like hours, when it was only about ten minutes, he stops due to exhaustion.

"Fix me something to eat darling. Your mother still hasn't woken up from her beaten earlier." He walks away from me like nothing happened and turned the tv on to watch the game.

I look up the stairs where I know she is. Probably laying on the floor unconscious, and I know there is nothing I can do about it at the moment.

Once my adrenaline stops pumping through my body, the pain takes over and I feel like my side and back is on fire. Standing slowly, I limp into the kitchen to start cooking. The faster I'm done in here; the faster I can check on Nancy.

Thirty minutes later, I place his food on the table before ascending the stairs to take care of my wounds and Nancy's. I walk directly into their bedroom looking for her. What I see almost causes me to become sick. He covered her in black and blue whelps with some hints of red. Knowing there isn't much I can do since he will not even let me near a phone, I check her breathing before covering her up and placing a pillow underneath her head..

Leaving her be, I enter my own bathroom to take care of my own battle wounds. I pull my shirt over my head carefully so not to aggravate anything else. The first thing I notice is blood running down my side. His belt really did a number on me. Grabbing a washcloth, I carefully wipe away all the blood. Then place bandages over the open cuts.

Quietly, I make my way into my own bedroom, so he doesn't hear me. I'm pretty sure I can't handle anything else tonight. Changing into my pj's, I crawl into bed praying that tonight I don't have any unwelcome visitors.

My final thoughts are that I can't believe that I talked to someone today. I had an actually conversation with Ashley. She and I are friends.

A small smile graces my lips as I drift off to sleep for the night.

I finally have a friend.

**More Spashley in the next chapter.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Snowdrop do you really want to torture, he who should not be named, like Aiden and Kyle from Escape. :) Sounds like fun to me but let's let everyone play if they want. The game is simple first we need to make a list of all the supplies we need to torture him, so name anything you would like to see used on him. I'll Start the list: 1. Waxing kit 2. Curling iron 3. Chains**

**If you want to know what will happen, you should go read through the comments on Writingislove's Escape. Trapped, myself, and Snowdrop tortured the villains of the story.**

**Rating: R for implied violence**

**Don't own anything but the story idea**

**Chapter 4**

Pain radiates through my body as the sun shines over me through the window, awaking me. Bruises cover my right side as a reminder of yesterday; however, a smile is still on my lips. I will see Ashley soon. Hopefully, I will be able to talk more to her today.

In true 007 fashion, I make my way down the stairs. Running into him now would keep me from school and Ashley.

Avoiding the squeaky steps, I finally make it to the bottom. I look around quickly as I undo the locks. My heart is pounding at each click. Please don't let him hear me.

A voice breaks me away from my goal, he heard me. Turning around, I visibly begin to shake uncontrollably at the forth coming blows. "He's not here." At Nancy's voice, my tremors lessen. "He went away on business for a few days. He said something about a screw up at work; he had to personally take care of." Nancy limps back into the kitchen to finish cleaning.

At least two whole days without him. No beatings, no hiding, and most importantly no... I don't even want to think about that.

For the first time, I walk out of the house with a smile on my face that is not fake for appearance sake of our neighbors. Sometimes, I wonder if they hear the screams at night and chose to ignore them. No, I'm not going to think any negative thoughts today. I'm going to enjoy my two days of freedom. Maybe Ashley can show me around the town today after school.

Coming up on the bus stop, I notice a black Porsche sitting on the corner. Ashley came to pick me up for school. Reaching the car, I see Ash's outfit for the day. A pair of light colored jeans and a tank-top that exposes her mid-drift. My eyes rake further up her body to her hair which is pulled up into a loose ponytail. Black aviator sunglasses cover her beautiful whisky eyes; Lips permanently fixed into a smirk.

"See something you like?" She chuckles out. My cheeks turn a deep crimson colored at being caught. "Get in Spence. Let's get to school." I nod my head before getting in. She takes off before I can even get my seatbelt on. "Sorry, I wanted to get away from those kids so we could talk some more." Her face erupts into a nose crinkling smile causing me to smile brightly for the first time.

"Sure" is whispered from my lips.

"See, you're getting better at talking. Pretty soon, I'm not gonna be able to shut you up." She giggles a little, but she does something I wasn't expecting. She pats my back which results in me jumping away in pain. The smile on her face disappears completely being replaced with a frown.

"Sorry. You caught me by surprise is all." She sighs and pulls her glasses off her head. "Spence, the expression on your face, when I did that, was of pain not surprise."

Shaking my head yes to let her know she's right, I refuse to meet her eyes out of embarrassment of the tears in my eyes.

"Hey." She whispers, and she brings her fingers to my jaw tracing it. Her fingers are nothing like his. Her's are soft and delicate while his where rough and hard. "Look at me" Noticing the tears in my eyes, she uses her thumb to brush them away. "I know we just meet, but you can trust me with anything. How about after school we go to my place and talk, or we can watch movies and order out. What do you say?" She never removes her hand from my face.

Covering my own hand with hers, I reply "I would love to. Thanks for everything." I blush again at how unguarded I am around her. If I stilled believed in God, I might've of thanked him for sending her to me.

"Come on. Let's get to class!" We exit the car and make our way to our first class of the day.

Miss. Embrey is already seated at her podium when we enter the room. She's organizing packets of papers. "Morning girls. How are you doing today?"

"Great" Ashley answers for the both of us.

"That's good. Here both of you take a packet back to your desk. We are gonna start our first book today." She smiles at both of us before handing us our worksheets. "The books are over there" She point to a shelf behind her desk. "Please take one to read."

Picking up the book for the first time, I realize what we're reading. It's Charles Dickens' Oliver Twist. I've never read this book before. Reading the back cover of the book, the book is about an orphan that lived in a workhouse, who is sent away to an abusive family as a work child, before finding a real home. The irony of it is not lost on me.

Taking my seat carefully so not to hit my bruised side, I really don't want any unwanted attention at the moment.

The bell rings a few minutes later and class begins.

"Morning class. As you can see, we are reading Oliver Twist first. Since this is our first assignment, I will allow everyone to work in two's. Pick your partners and get to work."

"Partners?" Ashley asks hopefully. I give her a small smile and nod to confirm my agreement.

It's just shame that I only have two days of peace before the monster comes back.

I just wonder what personal business a minister has.

**Next chapter will explain a lot. The more feedback I get the faster I will update!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Here is another chapter for everyone. Two important questions are answered in this one. I've noticed a lot of people are wanting Ashley to save Spencer but that's not going to happen. Ashley is going to help her find her way cause that is what the story is about. Read Oliver Twist if you want to know what I mean. Okay on with the supply list. I'm gonna list everything we have named first. **

**1. Waxing kit 2. Curling iron 3. Chains 4. Rope 5. Fire poker 6. Cock ring 7. Rabi infested cats **

**8. Hedge Clippers 9. Large mechanical pencil sharpener / New items I'm adding **

**10. Industrial rubber bans 11. Piercing needles**

**Rating: R for death**

**Don't own anything but the story line.**

**Flashback in italics**

**Chapter 5**

English class was relaxed. Ashley talked and I listened. She would try and get me to talk, but I wouldn't. Talking to Ashley is one thing but talking in front of other people, I can't.

After five minutes of trying she gave up and let me write my answers down. She seemed upset but understanding at the same time.

The first few chapters of Oliver Twist was long and boring. Dickens is very long winded when writing a book. I never got past the first three sentences of a Tale Of Two Cities. It was the best of times, and it was the worst of times. Yep, that's all I remember about that book.

"What's the first part of the packet that we need to complete?" She asks uninterested and bored with it already. Looking over it, it says that we need to draw one character in books as Charles has described them. I send Ash a written explanation of what we have to do since she refuses to read her worksheet.

"Sweet! Drawing's fun." Smiling at her sudden mood change, I flip to the next page to begin sketching a picture of The Artful Dodger.

The bell rang signaling the end of class after what felt like minutes. Time flies when you're enjoying yourself.

Ash's stands up waiting for me to gather my stuff so we can walk together to our next classes. Passing by the teacher's desk, she stops us. "Spencer can I talk to you for a minute." Nervousness washes over me. "It'll just take a minute. Ashley will you wait outside please." Ashley looks a me and smiles trying to reassure me before leaving the class.

"Spencer, I just wanted to let you know, if you ever want to talk about anything at all, I'm here to listen." She looks me over. Taking in my appearance, she continues. "I understand you've been through a lot losing your family, but keeping it bottled up isn't healthy. Please just think about it okay?" I nod my head and leave the class. Ash is waiting next to some lockers for me.

"Everything okay?" Shaking my head again, we make our way to second period.

The rest of my day was pretty boring. In every class, the teachers either stood and lectured or sat at their desks and ignored us.

Sitting in Mrs. Meadow's class again with Ashley today was the first time I didn't regret school ending for the day. Another thought entered my mind though. What if she wants to know about what happens when I go home? I'm positive I'm not ready to talk about it but if she asks I might spill it all in all it's horrible details. She probably has a pretty good idea on at least one part that happens, since she saw the bruises yesterday and my jumping at contact today.

The last bell of the day rings and nervously I follow Ash to her car. Buckling my seatbelt, I turn to her to ask one question that has been bugging me all day. "Are your parents going to be home?"

"No. I hardly ever see my mom and my dad is... my dad died last year."

"Sorry"

"It's okay. Well let's go have some fun" She winks at me before starting the car and taking off towards her home. If she drives a Porsche, I wonder what her house looks like.

A house doesn't even come close to her home, it's a mansion. I'm pretty sure my whole house could fit inside her kitchen. "I've never seen something so big before."

"It's okay. I would rather live in a small house and have a mother around instead of being alone all the time." I take in the rest of my surrounds quickly. "Come on. Let's go hang out in my room."

Ashley slips her hand into mind and pulls me up the stairs with her. Her room is enormous with spray painted graffiti on the walls and a king size bed. Not to mention the couch and flat screen tv.

"So what do you want to do first?" I ask carefully.

"Let's talk. I love your voice." Is she flirting with me.

"Um... sure"

"Spence, tell me about your family" She smiles at first but stops when she sees my expression. "Sorry. How about you ask the first question" She smiles again.

"So what's your middle name?"

"Elizabeth. You?"

"Ryan. What does your mom do?"

"Anyone under the age of thirty. She lives off the money from my father's will." Ashley laughs at herself. "So what about yours?"

"Nancy doesn't work, and he's a minister. Well he was before we moved. He wants to open a church here." Ashley thinks about something for a minute. "They're not your parents?"

"No, so um... what do you do for fun?"

"Listen to music. Talk to you." Blushing again. "Tell me about your real family please. What's the last memory you have of them?"

"Okay"

_My mom came into the living room where I was watching tv with both my brothers. "Hey kids. Is everyone ready to leave in a few minutes. Your father and I are going to drop ya'll off on our way to the store." _

"_Yes mom." Clay was the first to respond. He was my adopted brother, but he was also my favorite. Clay always made honor roll and loved to read. He always recommended the best books to read._ _Clay turned back to the tv but not before smacking Glen upside the head._

"_What?" Glen asked._

"_Mom's talking to you."_

"_Yeah mom, I'm ready to go." Glen finally responded to her. He was my actually brother in the DNA sense. A jock to the core which translated to asshat in most cultures. We loved each other but fought fiercely with each other often. Today was no different._ _We where fighting over what cartoon to watch while we waited for our parents._

_They where both two years older than me and already in middle school._

"_Glen, I want to watch My Little Pony." I grabbed for the remote again. Only to have him pull it away again._

"_We are watching Transformers not that girly crap."_ _Glen continued to keep the remote as I whined._

"_Spencer are you ready to go to practice?" My mom asked. She was a doctor, Dr. Paula Carlin, but always made time for us. Everyone says we look alike with the blonde hair and blue eyes. I always said I might look like my mom but I act like my dad._

"_Yes mom. Please tell Glen to change the channel." I begged._

"_HEY KIDS!" My dad shouts coming in the front door. "Everyone ready to go?" He always has a smile on his face. I idolized him. He devoted his whole life to helping people. As a social worker, he saw horrible things. Some how though he would manage to turn everything about for the ones he help. His dark hair and blue eyes was the odd ball of his family. Mom, Glen and I all had the blonde hair and blues._

_We all said yes and rushed to the car._

_I was the first drop off at my elementary school for pop warner cheerleading practice. Glen and Clay had to be dropped off at their school too._

_Cheerleading practice was normal and when it was time for pick up, everyone's parents showed up but mine. After forty-five minutes the coach offered to take me home, we pulled up to the house and found a cop car sitting in the driveway._

"_Can I help you?" Mrs. Skidmore asked as we approached the house._

"_There was an accident, and this was the only address we found." The officer with ugly mustache said._ _"Who are you ma'am?"_

"_I'm Spencer's coach. I was bringing her home when her parents didn't show up." __The officer looks at me for the first time. "You live here, honey." I nod my head yes and grasp hold of Mrs. Skidmore's hand out of fear._

"_I'm so sorry." He looks back at my coach again. "There where no survivors. All four of them where D.O.A" I didn't find out to later that day that D.O.A stood for dead on arrival. _

_My coach took me home with her until they could figure out what to do with me. My parents where only children and my grandparents where dead too. Apparently, They left a will for my brothers and I if anything happened to them. The Rev. Earl T. James and his wife where left guardianship of us. Of me._

_He came and got me that night. _

"That's the last memory I have of them. I was ten years old." I say and wipe away a few tears. I haven't talked about that day since it happened.

That was the night that I slowly started descending into hell.

**Not sure what time tomorrow I'll have an update. I'll try and get one before it get's to late. Also I'm trying to brainstorm ideas for The Ranch cause I hate having a story sit without being updated.**


	7. Chapter 7

**The last chapter was the calm before the storm. It's fixing to get a lot worse before it gets better.**

**Diddle: I didn't get any xoxoxo this time.**

**Okay on with the game the list so far has **

**1. Waxing kit 2. Curling iron 3. Chains 4. Rope 5. Fire poker 6. Cock ring 7. Rabi infested cats  
8. Hedge Clippers 9. Large mechanical pencil sharpener / New items I'm adding  
10. Industrial rubber bans 11. Piercing needles 12. Flesh eating bacteria 13. Spiked metal ball 14. Machete 15. Tazer 16. Blowtorch/ I'm adding 17. Lemon juice (painful on cuts) **

**18. Circular Saw 19. 14in dildo (LOL!)**

**Rating NC-17 for abuse & language**

**Don't own anything but the story line! Don't sue me please.**

**Chapter 6**

Two days of freedom from him did wonders for me. I can't explain it but a new sensation invaded my body now. The only thing I could think of was hope. I had hope again for the first time since my life did a complete one-eighty. Hope that I could have a better life not lived in fear. Hope that love would be part of my vocabulary again. Hope brought a smile to my face.

"Class shut off the computers before the bell rings." Mrs. Meadows demanded at the end of class.

It's the start of the weekend, and most everyone around me is buzzing about their plans. They looked forward to it, unlike me. I dreaded the weekends. He was usually home and pissed that he didn't have a church to preach at out here in California yet, so he would take it out on Nancy and I. Especially on Sundays. I hate Sundays.

A note was shoved in front of me after I finished putting up my books.

_What are you doing after school?_ It read.

Replying _He's coming back today. I have to go home straight after school to help Nancy._

_Ok, I'll give you a ride. We'll talk on the way. _She wrote back and put the rest of her stuff away.

Enjoying my last few moments of relaxation and freedom, I closed my eyes as the wind blew threw my hair on the ride back home. I didn't want these last two days to end.

Ash stopped a couple of houses down from mine not wanting to chance a meeting with the monster. "Will you call me if..."

Cutting her off, I explained "I'm not allowed near a phone. He even takes it with him when he's gone, so we call anyone."

The horrified expression on Ashley's face was heart breaking. "I'll get you a phone. Just keep it on Silent or turned off. That way we can talk a night or if you need something you'll have it." She tried smiling a little at the new found information, but it was forced.

"You don't have to but thank you." I gave her a small smile and noticed she was staring up the road. Wondering what she could be looking at, I followed her eyes to my driveway. His car was parked in the driveway, and my panic sets in.

He was suppose to be back late tonight, so Nancy and I had time to get the house up to his standards which where unreasonable at best.

I look back at Ash with fear and sadness firmly placed in my eyes. "I have to go." I said defeated.

"Don't" She grabbed my arm pulling me back into the car. "I'm not sure what exactly is going on in there Spence, but I'm pretty sure it's not good. I'm worried about you. Please don't go. Stay with me. We'll run away together. It'll be great." She pleaded with me.

"I can't. He'll find me, and I can't risk something happening to you if he does. You're my only friend. I need you." I placed my hand over her's and looked thoughtfully into her eyes. Our eyes fused together. The whiskey brown of hers and the ocean blue of mind. We where bound together for all eternity.

"I need you too" Comes from her whispered lips. Shocking me, she places a lingering kiss to my forehead.

Sighing and squeezing her hand, I leave the safety of her car. Slowly walking to my nightmare that I can never wake up from.

Standing in the stoop of the door, I examine the it closely for the first time. It's been repainted several times over the years. The previous color not completely covering the others from before.

The door opening breaks me away from my staring contest with the door. "Spencer! There you are darling." He sounds chipper; we must have company. He only moves enough, so I have to brush up against him to pass. Instead of doing so, I stand fast not wanting to touch him.

Anger flashes across his eyes, and he takes hold of my upper arm pulling me inside. Sitting at the table is another man who I have never seen before. He has a friendly smile but if they're friends, he can't be trusted.

"This is Spencer. My daughter." He places his pain inflicting hands on top of my shoulders. Fighting back the tremors that my body is accustom to under his touch, is proving to be a challenge in itself. "Spencer, This is Rev. Reed. He has asked if I would like to be the associate pastor at his church starting next week." The sickening smile that I'm sure is on his face is enough to make me lunge for the bathroom.

"Have a seat and join us will you Spencer." Rev. Reed smiles, unaware of the tension filled room.

"Darling, why don't you go put your book bag up first. Nancy will have dinner ready shortly." He squeezed my shoulders tightly before releasing me. Quickly, I discarded my bag and made it back down stairs not wanting to upset.

Dinner was brought out shortly after, I was just grateful not to have to listen to anymore church talk. The monster was bubbling over with excitement over his new position in a new church.

"So Spencer, How is school going for you? Making friends okay?" The Rev. asked expecting an answer that would never come.

I could feel all eyes on me waiting for my reply but mostly I felt his burning into me. The anger in them was enough for me to stare at my plate while shaking my head yes at his question.

"Sorry John, but Spencer here is quiet shy around people." He laughed it off for now. It was all just a show. From the outside we seem like the perfect family when in reality we are the epitome of a broken home.

Dinner finished quietly, and Rev. Reed excused himself saying that he would see us on Sunday for services.

As soon as the door closed, I felt the my last bit of hope drain from my body. The fire in his eyes burned my skin with his look. He was pissed.

"How dare you not answer his question." It was said almost in a whisper but the cold harshness rang through loud and clear.

His large hand come down across my face, splitting my lip. The force of the impact sent me into the kitchen table. Tears are running freely down my face as I wait for the next.

"Please don't hurt her Earl. Please." Nancy begs but all she got was a smack across the face.

"FUCK OFF! Go clean up. I'll deal with you later." Just like that, I'm alone and at the mercy of his anger.

The sound of his belt sliding through loops sends my heart into overdrive. "If you know what's good for you, I suggest you stay put on that table." His breath hits my ear, and I can feel his body pressed into mine.

He places my hands above my head on the table. "Stay still or it'll be worse."

Eyes shut tight, I feel him pull my shirt up exposing my back to the cold air. The marks are still there from last time. They showed the wrath I received at his anger last time.

"Darling" He traces his fingers down my back and back up again. "I love the way your skin feels underneath my finger tips. They way your body quakes at my every touch. You're mine forever."

Swishing sound of his belt coming down upon my skin causes a scream of pain to escape my lips. He is vigorous in his punishment. Never stopping. Blow after blow comes, and I try to think of anything at all to take my pain away. Knowing that he is only getting started.

I think of Ashley. Her smile. Her laugh. The way her nose crinkles when she's truly happy.

I think of the kiss.

**This will be the last chapter unbeta'd so yea! My beta will be back tomorrow, so I'm not how soon the next one will be. Plus, cross your fingers, we might have an update for The Ranch this weekend too.**

**Feedback keeps me writing so leave some for me please.**


	8. Chapter 8

**One new update coming your way! I loving all the feedback. Creating a character that everyone hates is so much fun. Thanks for all the support**

**On with the "game". I think this will be the last round of gathering supplies for Rev. Earl T. James torture. (Evil laughter) We will start torturing him next chapter, and if we need more items I'll run to home depot and buy them. So name the last of the items you would like to use and I'll start the torture and everyone is aloud to join in and do whatever they like to the man. Just Please don't kill him yet. I still need him for the story.**

**The list so far:**

**1. HOT Waxing kit 2. Curling iron 3. Chains 4. Rope 5. Fire poker 6. Cock ring 7. Rabi infested cats 8. Hedge Clippers 9. Large mechanical pencil sharpener 10. Industrial rubber bans 11. Piercing needles 12. Flesh eating bacteria 13. Spiked metal ball 14. Machete 15. Tazer 16. Blowtorch 17. Lemon juice (painful on cuts) 18. Circular Saw 19. 14inch dildo 20. Illegal firecrackers 21. Pepper spray 22. Hammer & nails 23. Wire 24. Tar & feathers 26. Large rusty hook 27. Scalpel 28. Sledge Hammer 29. Dibulators (?) 30. Anal beads 31. 9mm **

**adding: 32. Needle nose plyers 33. Cattle prod 34. Jumper cables w/ car battery**

**Rating: R Implied Abuse**

**My wonderful beta is back!! THANK YOU SCOUSE!**

**Don't own anything but the story line.**

**Chapter 7**

Sunday's are for believers. People that have faith in a greater being. I use to be one of those people once upon a time before my life turned upside down. I used to imagine what my life would be like if I didn't lose my family or if they would have left me in the care of someone else. All useless though, I can't even see an end in sight of this nightmare that I'm currently in. My only shimmer of light is in the form of a curly brown haired brown-eyed girl. The only person to notice what was there all along. She saw me.

"...and the Lord did strike them down..." Rev. Reed stood in front of the congregation spitting out bible verses. One after another, he preached of an unforgiving god that he wished us all to fear. I didn't fear God; I feared the devil sitting next to me.

Sitting in the church, we appeared to be the perfect minister's family. A loving husband and father, sat with his wife and daughter listening to the sermon with the up most respect. The outside world unaware of his true nature. All it would take is for one other person to look into my eyes and see the pain, the aguish, and the fear. They would see the darkness that flows from my eyes.

The pain on my face is evident today. Sitting in the church in the uncomfortable pews, I try to avoid all contact with my back. The black, blue, and purple stripes color my back from the beating I received the other night. That was only the beginning, he...um...he did other stuff too. More painful than I can ever remember it being. That night, I was not silent, even though I never spoke a word. My screams still echo through the attic.

Church ended after what seemed like hours, we gathered on the front line with everyone else. Most welcomed us to the church, others stared. The news that he was going to be a minister spread like wild fire through the masses.

Rev. Reed came and talked with us, well with them. I just stared at my shoes wishing it were Monday, so I could see Ashley.

"I was thinking Earl that maybe you would like to give the sermon next Sunday to introduce yourself to the people. What do you say?" His smile widened with delight at the news. He lived to stand up on the pulpit and preach his words of God.

"I would be honored. Any certain topic or can I pick my own?" His eyes showed he was already deep in thought over what topic he could preach.

"What did you have in mind?" John Reed was interested in what ideas the beast had.

"Sins" A simple word but held so many different categories to choose from. He already knew exactly what he wanted to talk about, and it was going to cut deep into me.

"Okay. Work on it over the week and we'll edit it together Saturday before church." John smiled at his new friend.

"I look forward to it." The man with deadly green eyes and almost black hair said. My nightmare. He is responsible for taking away every last ounce of innocence I had.

He placed his hand on my shoulder and led me to the car.

Leaving the safety of people, my tremors started again. His hands still touching me made me feel dirty. I wanted to take a shower and scrub his touch off my skin forever.

Forever. That word will haunt me for the rest of my days. He said I belonged to him that I would never leave that house. That thought alone scared me more then anything else I have ever endured at his hands.

Counting down the houses until we reach ours has managed to keep my mind off other depressing thoughts. Counting the last one, we pull into our driveway. Exiting the car, I look around to spot a black Porsche sitting at the corner. Did she come to check on me? She must have been worried since I wouldn't be able to call her.

Smiling a little, I realize I'm not alone in this world anymore. I have Ashley. I just hope she is up to the task of being my everything.

Feed me and I'll update ASAP!


	9. Chapter 9

**Diddle: I got an update up tonight cause I need the xoxoxo! **

**The game changes now. I'm gonna list all the new items with the old. Then down below I'm going to write my torture scene. Please do the same using any of the items on the list. You can use more then one too. So I will set the location we are going to be working in. Remember it's free for all. Just don't kill him yet. I will post the best one on the next chapter and so on. So let's have fun and make it hurt!**

**Items: **

**1. HOT Waxing kit 2. Curling iron 3. Chains 4. Rope 5. Fire poker 6. Cock ring 7. Rabi infested cats 8. Hedge Clippers 9. Large mechanical pencil sharpener 10. Industrial rubber bans 11. Piercing needles 12. Flesh eating bacteria 13. Spiked metal ball 14. Machete 15. Tazer 16. Blowtorch 17. Lemon juice (painful on cuts) 18. Circular Saw 19. 14inch dildo 20. Illegal firecrackers 21. Pepper spray 22. Hammer & nails 23. Wire 24. Tar & feathers 26. Large rusty hook 27. Scalpel 28. Sledge Hammer 29. Di-fibulators 30. Anal beads 31. 9mm 32. Needle nose plyers 33. Cattle prod 34. Jumper cables w/ car battery 35. Hacksaw 36. Ice 37. Stomach pump 38.drill 39. Nail gun 40. Hydriodic acid 41.iron maiden (getting expensive) 42. Vice 43.Rats 44. Water (Chinese water tort.) 45. Blunt knife **

**Rating: R for abuse**

**This chapter is not beta'd since my beta and I live in two different countries with major time difference. Sorry for any mistakes.**

**I don't own anything but the story line!**

**My torture scene:**

**The old warehouse by the docks will be perfect is my first thought as I load his limp body into my car. Still passed out, I not so carefully chain him to the free hanging chains from the roof. Next, I lock his feet to the floor. He is trapped with no way out.**

"**Earl. Earl. Earl" Holding the knife I stare at him waiting for him to awake. I don't have to wait long. "What the..." He realizes he stuck. "Hush Asshole! Pay back is a bitch!" Grinning wickedly, I remove the rest of his clothes. In the corner the wax is heating up. "Have you every had a bikini wax? It's very painful when you look like you're wearing clothes after your clothes are gone." **

**Ding "The wax is ready" Walking over to the table, I drag it over to his hairy body. This is going to hurt.**

"**Ready" He shakes his head no. "To bad" Coating the patch of hair just above his groin, I place the stripe of paper. "1,2,3...30" Ripping it off, he let's out a loud shrill.**

**Relentless in my task, I never stop until his body is completely bald and red. "Perfect"**

**Turning behind me I ask "Who's next?"**

**Chapter 8**

My light in the darkness approaches us. I'm the only one who sees her. He is to busy unlocking the door to notice. Nancy's shoes are interesting her at the minute.

She is almost upon us, walking down our driveway carrying a paper in her hand. My heart beat picks up at each step closer she comes to me. Our eyes never wavering from the other. I wonder what she's gonna do. Please just don't let him find out that she is my friend. My everything. I couldn't live with myself if something ever happened to her. She is the reason my heart beats everyday.

"Excuse me sir." Ashley clears her throat gaining his attention.

Unsure if she notices, but I do. His eyes travel all over her body. He licks his lips like there is a prime rib sitting in front of him begging to be eaten. "Can I help you?" An overly sweet tone comes out.

"Yes sir. I'm trying to raise money for King High's cheerleading squad." Barely managing to get that out without stuttering, she waits for his reply.

"Are you asking for money or are you performing a service for a fee?" She quiets in thought before replying.

"I'm offering my services. I would like to wash your car, sir." I notice her gulp. I do too

Scratching his chin in thought, "how much?" he grins at her.

"16 or I'll cut it in half if she helps. She looks like she could be a cheerleader too." She eyes me for a second. Then turns her attention back to him.

My heart is pounding waiting for his answer. I'm not sure which way I want it to go. On one hand, I get to spend the day with Ashley. The other, he might find out we are actually friends and do some drastic like move away again.

Before he replies, he whispers something into Nancy's ear. She takes off inside without a second thought. My heart is still rapidly beating inside my chest. Nervousness doesn't even come close to my present state of mind.

"Do I have to supply you with the equipment?" He studies her closely looking for a lie.

"No sir. I have everything I need. I just need to run to the store to get more soap. You don't have to pay me until the job is done."

"Okay. 8's if Spencer helps, right?" She nods her head to agree with his last statement.

"Fine go get your soap, I pay you when your done."

"Yes sir." She looks at me for a minute. "Spencer, would you like to come with me?" I open my mouth to reply but stop myself. I know if I answer her all is lost.

Looking at the devil, I pray for his approval. I try to indifference to the offer. On the inside though I'm hoping that because Ashley is here, I'll get to go.

I guess his imagine, that other people view him as, is more important to him then keeping me under lock and key because to my surprise he let's me go.

Eyes burn into my back all the way to Ash's car. He is watching us closely. I hope he doesn't suspect anything, or I'm in real trouble later. Hell, I might be anyway for this.

Carefully, I relax back into Ashley's seat. I don't want her to realize my back is worse then it was a couple of days ago. Questions would surely ensue at that bit of information. The strange thing is, I want to tell her. I want her to make all the bad in my life go away. Happiness is all I want.

Happiness is what I feel at this very moment because she figured out a way or us to spend time together over the weekend.

She gives me a once over before starting the car and driving to the closest Auto Zone for supplies.

"Are you okay Spencer?" The concern in her voice is loud and clear. I'm left with a dilemma on what to say. Do I tell her the truth, or lie? If I tell the truth, I'll end up telling her all of it. I'm sure of it. If I lie, I run the chance or ruining our friendship.

Sometimes, I wonder if that is all Ashley see this as. Her eyes scream that she wants more from me then friendship. The question is, do I?

To tell her the truth would be a step towards more then friends. The other wouldn't. So taking a deep breath, I go with what I feel in my heart and soul.

"No. Ash, I'm not okay. I need help." With that simple admission, I start crying uncontrollably. For the first time ever, I admit it out loud with words.

Looking at me, she automatically pulls the car over on the side of the rode. I'm unconsolable mess of tears. Without hearing her, I feel my door open. She is pulling me into a tight embrace. My tears run down her shirt soaking her while she comforts me in my time of need.

Somehow, I end up sitting on Ash's lap on the ground. She stroking my blonde locks and whispering words of love into my ear.

"Spence, please tell me. Let it out." Placing a kiss to the top of my head, "Let me help you." she runs her hand down my back. Even though her hands have never brought me pain, I still jump away at her mensurations on my back.

Her eyes hold a sadness to them at my movement. "Sorry" I whisper.

"Show me" She says and moves back over to me wanting to look at my back. I look around carefully, not wanting everyone else to see, before turning around to lift my shirt to show her battle wounds.

Slowly sliding my shirt up my back exposing each bruise and cut to her innocent eyes. The gasps and "oh no's" are almost to much to bare. What if she hates me? What if she thinks it my fault that it happens.

"Oh my god, Spencer. That looks so painful, sweetie." She gently touches one of the worst bruises on my back with her finger tips. "I'm so sorry." Feeling her lips press into my back, I shiver but not like when he touches me. This time it's a feeling of contentment, of love. That's what her lips touching my skin convey to me.

She helps me lower my shirt back down before turning me back around to look at her. My tear stained face stares at her tear stained face. Both our hearts are pained at newly found information, mine at finally realizing I need help. Ashley's for not realizing how serious my situation was.

"I can't take you back there, Spence. I just can't let that happen again. What if next time... what if...? She couldn't finish her thought.

"Ash, I have to go back. I told you why." I was defeated and every part of me wanted to flee with Ashley into the unknown. My fear of him was holding me back.

"YOU CAN"T" The now hysteric brunette cries out. "I will not take you back to that. We can go to the police, Spence. They'll believe you."

"They won't, Ash. When I was twelve, I told and they didn't believe me. I couldn't handle that happening again." My own tears still freely falling. "I'll be fine. I promise."

"Promise me, Spencer. Promise me that if it happens again, you'll let me take you away." Looking into my eyes, she wiped away my tears. "I can't lose you." She whispered.

"I promise." It was an empty promise. I knew I wouldn't be able to leave. His words rang through my head from the other night. I was his forever.

**Feed me please! Remember to add your own scene. Earl is going down!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay everyone! I would like to thank Phoenixlls for a great idea. Listen to 'Goodbye Earl' by the Dixie Chicks while reading. It's the new anthem for my story. This chapter is short but packs a punch. The rest of the back story is revealed. I'm gonna give the ones who are trying to figure out a torture scene more time so I'm not gonna post one yet. Taymm15 I loved yours! **

**Thanks to Scouse for being my wonderful beta!**

**Rating: NC-17 for abuse & rape**

**Don't own anything but the story line.**

**Chapter 9**

"What is Sin? My Brethren, what is sin?"

The church is no more comforting then it was last week. The only difference is this time he's not sitting beside me caressing my leg. He is standing up in front of the congregation preaching his words of God. I find it amusing that the devil has taken over. Of course, William Shakespeare said the devil can cite Scripture for his purpose. I find that quote very fitting today.

"All of us are sinners." His words storm out over the pews instilling fear into us all. "All of us are locked in the prison of sin." Commanding attention and looking around making sure all eyes are on him, he stares at me hard before continuing, "God has the only key that will set us free." Slamming his hand down on the pulpit, "He offers to open the door to anyone who cries out for his mercy."

Nancy and I are the only ones too not agree with his words. We sit silently while everyone else nods or says their agreements. She fiddles with her dress wanting for something that I'm not quite sure I want to know what it is.

"Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon (Isaiah 55:7)" Spitting of verse after verse has me shifting in my seat. He wouldn't go there. Not again. His sermon is starting to feel familiar as if I've heard it before. Five years ago, he started his own personal crusade with a quote from the bible back home. Five years ago, I shared a secret and the punishment I received for it made me silent.

"Or do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God." He looks directly at me during that verse. It is his excuse.

The reasons my punishments became what that are today is because I told my secrets. The last one I told was to my Sunday school teacher when I was thirteen. I told her that the Rev. hurt me. Tears in my eyes, I confessed to her what he was doing to me. I thought it was finally going to stop. All the pain would be gone, and the shame I carried with me would be no more. I was wrong. After talking with him, they both decided I needed to be punished for my lies. That day I received ten licks with a belt from my teacher and him both. The torture he put me through that night was worse.

"Finally, this must become very personal. Do you understand how rebellious your own heart is? Until you see that you are a wretched sinner, you have no chance to receive mercy. As long as you say, 'I can handle my own affairs. I don't need God,' you have cut yourself off from his mercy. Do you want to go to heaven? You've got to get there by the mercy of God or you won't get there at all. Salvation begins when a person understands that he cannot save himself. Jesus died for sinners and for no one else. The door to heaven has a sign over the top, and the sign says FOR SINNERS ONLY. If you qualify, come on in. When you say, 'God, be merciful to me, a sinner,' the gates of heaven are opened to you, and the mercy you seek flows into your life. Amen" I made sure to pay attention to his closing statement. The consequences of not where far worse then having to listen to his voice.

The first secret I revealed was to him and Nancy. I had hoped they would understand. I was wrong. Silence over took me that night. He called me a sinner, an abomination. I cried as he threw me against the wall and proceeded to yell and throw things at my head. Cuts littered my face and arms from the broken glass shards. The first slap was a surprise. My cheek stung and tears gathered in my eyes. The second stuck my other side sending me to the ground on top of the broken glass. Pieces where stuck in my palms and knees. Sobbing at the pain and sight of my own blood, I never saw his foot coming. Falling over on my side that was now covered in glass, I gasped for air and screamed for help that never came. He said I was a sinner that got everything I deserved. "You better be glad that your parents are dead. They would be so disappointed in you," he whispered into my ear. His statement broke me. I was truly lost.

A twelve year old girl, who has lost everything, came out to the only people she had left.

My innocence was lost that night for good. He took it from me hard and violently. Ripping it from my small body, my first time was not at all like I pictured it. Blood running down my legs staining my bed sheets. A reminder of what was taken from me. I would never be able to get it back. My virginity was lost forever at the hands of the man who was supposed to protect me like a father.

The reason this all happened was simple. One little word changed it all. I told him I was gay.

**Feed Me and I'll update both my stories tomorrow!**


	11. Chapter 11

**New update! Still working on getting an update of The Ranch out tonight. "Na na na na goodbye Earl" Sorry Add kicking in. I was listening to the theme song of this story while writing the author note. Loving the feedback and the torture scenes. Poor guy. NOT! I'm gonna do a torture scene for everyone and I'm go take over where the last one left off. I'll include what the others did for those of you who don't read on that sight.**

**CourtneyMiller16: 14inchs not that big? WOW! Um I've never went over 9. Okay, I'm stopping this reply it's getting into my personal life a little to much. LOL! 14inch not big (scratches head in thought)**

**Rating: R for implied violence**

**Thanks to Scouse my beta for getting it back so quick. Good news is I now have a second backup beta too. So let's give a warm welcome to butchpanther for jumping on board. **

**Don't own anything but the story line.**

**Torture Scene:**

"**Taking over for you" I place my hand on Andrews B's shoulder. "I have great idea." **

**Looking over Earl, he's been sodomize by a large stick with razors on the end. Not to mention, the carvings of Taymm of 'FOREVER' on him. The blood running freely down is body making a pool at the bottom. The lemon juice is still causing his open cuts to sting.**

**His hairless body, quakes in fear as I approach him. "Sucks being on this end." I laugh as he pisses on himself. "Gross!" Turning around to the large group of people watching the show, they are all eating popcorn with large grins on their faces. "Can I get a pair of gloves? I so don't want to touch him with my bare hands." **

**Places the gloves on, I grab the large rubber bans. Quickly and tightly, I wrap the it around his small twig of a dick cutting off the blood flow. "There" I step back to look at my handy work. Smiling to myself I realize it will fall off eventually with time. "I does it feel to know that soon you will have to pee through a tube." A tear runs down his face at my statement. "You deserve everything you're going to get!" With that statement, my fist goes flying right across his face. Blood now pours out of his mouth too.**

"**Who wants to go next?"**

**Chapter 10**

Fear pulsated through my body as we approached his house. Last time he gave that sermon, I lost two days of my life. If that happens again, I am positive that I will not be able to convince Ash that nothing has happened to me since my confession to her in the car.

The car comes to a stop and all I can do is stare at the door that leads me to my hell. "Darling" Shivering at the name, the pounding in my chest picks up. 'Darling' signifies my obedience to him. "I want you to go straight to your room and wait for me." Tears fall immediately at his request, I know what is coming.

Nancy does not try to protect me this time. I can see the sorrow and regret in her eyes. She looks back at me one last time before entering her home. "Get dinner started" His commands are not be ignored. She rushes into the kitchen and begins his dinner.

"GO!" He yells his command at me. I haven't left the door stoop yet. Hell is suppose to hot, but mine is cold. Ice cold.

Taking the stairs two at a time, I rush into my room closing the door behind me. Locking the door would be pointless, he would just break it down like he did to the one back home. After that, I didn't even have a door for privacy anymore.

I look for anything to help me get pass this waiting game of his. He'll be up here soon enough.

Unable to sit on the bed, I stare out the window wondering what Ashley is doing at this very moment. I hope she's having fun and enjoying her day.

Even with my back to the door, I can feel his approach. The scent of Old Spice feels my nose as he enters my room.

"You are a sinner and must be punished" His fingers run through my hair stopping at the end of it. Closing my eyes, I wait for it to start. He takes hold and throws me to floor by my hair. "It's time to earn his forgiveness." I quake in fear as his shadow covers me in darkness with each step.

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Ashley's POV

Fear washes over me as Tuesday comes to an end with no sign of Spencer. The same feeling I had Sunday afternoon will not leave me alone. My first instinct is to go to her house and bang on the door, but I know that it could cause more harm if she's okay.

Maybe I should tell someone what she told me. I saw the bruises on her back. Only a monster could cause those. She needs help. I'm sure of it. The question is how. I'm like her, alone in this world with no real family to speak of. My mother is more interested in dick then the well being of her child. I could talk to a teacher but which one. Which ones does Spencer trust? Probably none, she only trusts me, and I'm letting her down with each day I do nothing.

Tomorrow, if Spencer isn't here, I will talk to Miss. Embrey about her. Please just let her be okay.

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Spencer's POV

My battle wounds are the worse they've ever been. Bruises, cuts, and several gashes cover my whole body. The fact that I'm still alive is a miracle in itself. He tortured my body for two days before relenting and allow me rest. Tomorrow is Wednesday, I know Ash is worried about me. She has every right to be. My bruised face and broken arm should be a hit at school tomorrow.

Ashley is going to insist that I talk to someone. I know she will, and I can't blame her for it either.

Laying on my blood stained sheets, fear of tomorrow consumes me. Everyone is going to stare, and the teachers will ask questions. Hiding what he has done will be impossible.

My door opens and the tremors that finally died down a few hours ago are back. My body is completely broken. I know I will not make it through another round.

Curling into myself on my bed, I wait for the blow. "Spencer" it's whispered. It's not him. Nancy has risked her life to check on me. If he finds out, she might not make it through the beating. "Are you okay?" She touches my shoulder, and I flinch away at her touch. Sighing and defeated, she continues "You need to get away from him. Why haven't you tried to leave? Spencer, I'm so sorry all this happening to you. I've wanted to take you away from it for years but my fear of him has kept me from it." She touches me again, only to have me move away. "I'm sorry Spencer."

The weight on my mattress shifts as she leaves my room, she stops at my door like she wants to ask another question but stops herself.

"I stayed for you." I whispered to her. "I didn't want him to... to" I can't finish that thought. It brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it.

Shocked that I spoke to her, she stumbles over her words. "You need to leave. He's gonna kill us both if you don't. Please don't worry about me as long as you're safe, I'll be happy." With her last request, she left me to think it over.

She is giving up her life for me. Maybe I had love all along and didn't even realize it. Her fear of him kept her from showing to much.

I just hope Ashley is up for an adventure. Tomorrow, we are gonna run away together, and I'll be free of him.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**FEED ME PLEASE! The Ranch is coming up next!**

Let me know what you think of my new banner for the story!

The link is home my bio page. Just click on chewynbj!


	12. Chapter 12

**It's a long update! I hope you like this chapter. This is going to be a turning point by the end, but I promise there is a lot more to come. This story is nowhere near the end. I just had to go this way to get to the ending I picture. No torture scene today. It's someone else's turn to do one. If you already have done one feel free to do another. There is no limit if the mood strikes you.**

**Thanks to my beta Scouse!**

**Rating: R for abuse**

**Don't own anything but the story line!**

**Chapter 11**

The light shining into my room does nothing to ease my nerves. Morning has come and my question is still unanswered. Can I leave? Can I leave knowing that my actions could and will probably result in a death. He would kill her if he found out she told me to leave. She wants me to though because she slipped me some money she managed to steal from him into my book bag last night.

Leaving would mean I would always be on the run. He'll never give up the hunt. I would be putting Ashley, Nancy, and myself all in danger by running.

Honestly, I don't or won't have a choice in the matter. When Ashley sees me, she will insist I can't stay here any longer. The sad thing is I know that already but my fears where holding me back. They are always holding me back. Fear controls everything I do, and it will continue to do so until I'm dead or he is.

"Darling" His presence surrounds me and with it comes the darkness. His fingertips run along my jaw as he examines my face. Frozen in fear, I stand fast letting his hands travel my body. "Has he forgiven you?" Forcing me to look at him, his eyes telling me he's not wanting an answer. "You are so beautiful. You know that?" His hand travels south touching me in the place that he has hurt so many times. Tears forming at his touch, I just wish I were at school already. "After school, we'll work on your forgiveness some more." Placing a kiss to my forehead, I begin to shake and cry at that thought.

"The bus will be here soon. Get ready" He's gone, and I'm left on the floor crying into my legs.

My makeshift cast does nothing for my arm. The pain radiates through my body as I slip my arm into the sleeve.

My backpack packed but not with my schoolbooks. I made my decision after my encounter with him. There is no way, I can come back here and leave alive. Schoolbooks hidden in my dresser, I make my way out of my bedroom and down the stairs. I just hope he doesn't figure out I'm gone until there is a large distance between us.

Nancy is dusting the end tables when I arrive at the bottom of the stairs. She looks for my sign that I'm not coming back today. I give her a slight nod and walk out of that house for what I hope is the last time.

Walking to the bus stop, I look for Ash's car. Hoping that she's been here everyday waiting for me to show up these last two days, I hope she's there today.

Rounding the corner to the bus stop, my heart soars. She is there waiting for me. Her eyes travel all around looking until they land on me. She smiles and waits for me to approach. Her smile lessens with each step. She sees the damage done. By the time I reach her car, her smile is gone to be replaced with a sad concerned look. Maybe even a hint of anger.

Jumping out the car, she tries to embrace me, "Spencer. Oh my god, what did he do?" only to have me back away. Touch is not something I want know. "Come on. Let's go back to my place." I can tell she wants to take my hand to help me into the car but manages to refrain from doing so.

A feeling of safety consumes me after my car door closes, and she drives off towards her house.

"Talk to me Spence. Is this why you weren't at school?" She asks glancing at me out the corner of her eye.

"Yes" Wrapping my arms around my self, I think of all I went through these last few days. Ashley got me through them, and she doesn't even know it.

"You're not going back there. I don't care what you say. You are not!" She's resolute in her statement. Except, I was already was going to tell her that.

"I know" I whisper to her. Looking at her, I wait for her reaction.

"Spencer, No you can't..." Her objection stops when she finally realizes what I said. "Really?" she has hope now

"Really Ash. Let's leave and never look back."

"What changed your mind besides the obvious" She looks over all my bruises.

"Nancy. She told me I should leave." I turn to look out the window but not before doing something I've wanted to do for the last couple of days. I take her hand in mine.

The rest of the ride was spent in silent contentment.

Ashley is pacing back forth going over everything. I'm just sitting on the bed watching, waiting for her decision. She has to decide fast because my time is running out. When three o'clock roles around and I don't show up, he'll start the hunt.

"Spence, maybe we should go to the police instead." I watch her walk back and forth spitting out question after question never waiting for an answer. "We also need to get you to a hospital." She looks at me again.

"I can't, not yet. I'm not strong enough to face him. I can't stand up to him when all I do is quake at the sight of him." Time to regain my strength and mind set, then I'll be able to tell.

Defeated Ashley looks at me, "How about this. We go to a different hospital out of town with fake names to get the evidence we need for when we go to the police. In the mean time, we can hide out at my father's house that's a few counties over." She sits beside me waiting for my approval of her plan.

"Okay." She smiles and squeezes my hand.

Ashley runs around the room packing up her things. I watch and wonder how long it'll take for me to get the courage to come forward, or if he'll find me first. One thing is for sure, I've never been happier with a decision.

We went one county north of LA to there hospital. It wasn't as nice as some of the other's I've been to over the years, but it was smaller.

Ashley signed me in while I waited. My eyes never leaving the door. I waited for him to show up and take me away.

A nurse came and took me into a room, I was instructed to take all my clothes off and put on a gown. Panic raked through my body at the thought of them seeing. Ashley and the doctor would see and know everything by the time I left this room.

Ashley sensing my hesitation offered "Do you want me wait in the waiting room until your done?"

"No. Please don't leave me. I need you with me." She smiled and cupped my hand.

"I'm right here."

The nurse left, and Ash helped me change. She saw all the bruises and cuts that littered my body. Never asking the questions of whys and when's, she helped me into the bed to wait for the doctor.

Eyes focused on the clock, I counted down the minutes until he realizes I'm gone. Three hours and counting.

A woman doctor appears at the door. "Sarah Carlton?" I look at Ash because of the name she had chosen. Turning my attention back to the doctor, I nod my head for her to enter.

An hour and half later, Ashley and I are leaving the hospital to head to her father's house that is in the next county over even further away from him. The doctor did advise me that my file with the photos that were taken would be at the hospital if I decided to press charges.

Another hour later, we pulled up into her father's house. I was expecting a small little house. What I saw was anything but. It was a large house done up to look like a log cabin. We would be completely isolated here. This place felt safe.

Ashley and I entered the house. It would become our home for now while I worked on repairing what was broken inside me. With Ashley with me, I know I can do this. I have to do this for me and her.

**Feed me! Will try and get another update up tomorrow depending on my schedule!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry for not having an update yesterday. I got distracted.**

**Thank you all for the comments I love reading them very much. Now on with the story.**

**Rating: R implied abuse**

**Don't own anything but the story line**

**Chapter 12**

Silence awaits me once inside the house. No screams of pain or commands being yelled out, nothing. Just silence. Silence is nice.

The living area is completely open. No walls except for the bathrooms and bedrooms. My eyes finally finish searching my surroundings, and I turn to look at her. My everything. She's waiting for my approval.

"It's amazing" I turn back to look at the fireplace sitting in front of the couch.

"No one knows about this place. He bought it right before he died. I was the only one he told when he gave me a key." She looks to the fireplace too. "He wanted me to have a place to go when things got to bad with my mother."

"Thank you for doing all of this. You didn't have to." She's done so much to help and some she doesn't even realize.

"Yes I did." Both of our stomachs growling, I realize we haven't eaten anything today. Ashley grabs her bags. "Come on let's get our stuff into our rooms. Then we'll figure out what to eat."

My backpack still on, I follow her to the bedrooms.

Sitting my bag down on the queen size bed, I take in my room. It's nice. The room has paintings hanging on each of the walls.

"Hey" She's standing in my doorway holding a smaller suitcase. "I thought you could use some extra stuff, so I packed a case for you at my house." She smiles a little.

"Thank you."

Ashley went to the store to get some food and other things we would need. A giant grandfather clock chimed in the corner. It was already 4:30pm.

Curiosity getting the best of me, I flipped the TV on to see if there was anything about my disappearance on. Clicking through all the channels, I found nothing. It's probably to soon was what I told myself. Giving up for now, I went and got a drink of water leaving the TV playing.

"BREAKING NEWS!" A man's voice rang through the TV "An Amber Alert has been issued" A photo of me flashes onto the TV screen. "Spencer Carlin, seventeen year old girl is missing. She was last seen walking to school from her home. Any information on her where a about, please call 1-800-827-7820. We are going to take you live to her family's home where her father and mother are holding a press conference."

The glass I was holding slips through my hand when he appears on the TV. The glass shatters all over the floor. I watch motionless as he cries in front of the world for my safe return. He spits out lie after lie about how he loves me and misses me.

His last line sends chills and shivers down my spine. "Darling, if you can hear this, come home." A command. That was his warning to me, I either go back there or else.

Ashley finds me in the same spot I was in during his press conference. Tears running down my face and shaking. The broken glass litters my feet.

"Spencer, what happened?" my savior rushes to my side.

"He... he ordered me to come home." I sniffle out.

"What do you..." The TV cuts her question short. His voice echoes over it again repeating his last line. "Darling, if you can hear this, come home." The news anchor comes back on. "That was Rev. James' last words to his daughter. You could see the pain and suffering in his eyes. He just misses..." The TV cuts off.

"No reason to listen to lies." She smiles a little trying to relax me. "How about we do anything you want. Something you haven't done since you where little." I smile at the first thought that comes to my mind.

We've been sitting on the floor for hours in front of the fire. Our fingers and faces are covered in marshmallow and chocolate. We made smores. A lot of them. I was shocked to learn that Ash has never had one.

We both sit staring at the fire "So Spence tell me why smores?" Ashley asks.

"My family and I went camping together. My dad let us all make them over the open fire. He said we, my brothers and I, where aloud to eat as many as we could. My mom didn't think it was a good idea but let us do it anyway." Looking at Ashley, the fire is lighting up the side of her face. She's gorgeous under the glow of the fire. "By the time we had eaten our full of them, Glen, Clay, and I where covered in them. My mom took a picture of us in our chocolate smiles. Everyone was laughing at me because Glen thought it would be funny to rub the rest of his smore into my hair. It was sticking up all over the place. Afterwards, my dad made us all jump into the lake to rinse off. That was the first time I got to swim at night. It was also our last camping trip together." Wiping away a few tears at one of my happy memories, I look back over at Ashley. She's crying too.

"Sounds like you had a great family" Had was defiantly the right word. "Come on" She stands up helping me up too. "Let's get some sleep. We've got a long day tomorrow." We both head to our own rooms for the night.

Walking into to the front door, that I said I would never again do, I'm met face to face with him. He's smiling at me. "Darling, I'm so glad you followed my orders." Looking down, I begin to shake harder and harder as he comes closer to me. "You are going to be punished for trying to leave. I own you. You are MINE!" He snatches me by the jaw forcing our eyes to meet.

"Do you understand me? Whom do you belong to? SAY IT!" He screams at me. Tears running down my face, I try to muster up the courage to answer him.

"No one" it's weak and whispered but I said it.

"Wrong answer." He takes me by the neck and leads me into the kitchen. Nancy is lying on the floor in a pool of blood. "That is your fault. You caused her death." He points at her body. "Now tell me, who do you belong to? Or would you like me to kill that little girlfriend of yours too?"

"NO!" I shout out. "I'll say it."

"Good. Now say it!" He smiles waiting for my answer.

"I belong to you." The words flow from my lips as tears flow from eyes. The last part of me washes away with that one sentence. I'm lost in the darkness forever now. My hole is too deep to ever climb out of again. I'm lost.

"Spencer! Wake up!" A hand touches my cheek, and I jump away at the contact expecting to see him staring at me.

"You where having a nightmare." It's Ashley. It was all a dream. I never gave in and told him. I'm safe.

"Ash, will you stay with me?"

"Yes" Climbing into bed with me, I feel her wrap her arms around me protecting me from everything.

Relaxing into her embrace, I finally fall into a peaceful dream.

**Love the comments so feed me please. Also I just got through reading Lessons by Kim Pritekel, it's great so check it out.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry I didn't have an update yesterday. I've been taking care of my sick daughter. Anyway I loved all the comments from the last update. Thank you for them. Taymm I loved the torture scene you did. **

**Rating: R for violence**

**Thanks to my beta's Scouse and Butchpanther for looking over this update for me.**

**Flashback in **_**Italics**_

**I don't own anything but the storyline.**

Chapter 13

Several days have passed. My nightmares are getting worse, and I'm afraid to sleep. I don't want to see him, or hear his voice anymore. I want to be free.

"Spencer, just let out." Her fingers run continuously through my hair. "It's not your fault. None of it is, baby" The last word of her sentence is whispered, but I still hear it.

It feels like I've been crying for months straight, but in reality it's just been days. Ashley has been doing her best to comfort and reassure me that everything will be okay, but I know it won't. Everything in my life turns to shit. Sometimes, I just want to die. I've told Ash this, and she has made me promise to stop talking like that, which I have for the most part. I still think about it, but it's just a thought that I will never do.

More tears fall as he comes onto the tv again. His pleads to a country for my safe return, are in reality, his orders for me to return home immediately. They've painted him as a loving father in the media. The caring, loving, attentive, and sorrowful preacher that lost his daughter. It makes me want to throw up. He is anything but those. I've suffered for years at the hands of that man, and so has Nancy.

"Ashley?" My first time speaking all day. "Have you seen Nancy in any of the interviews?" Dread washes over me as I try to remember each one, and each one my hope diminishes for her.

"No, I haven't" Nancy's words shout inside my head "as long as your safe." He's hurt her. I know it and all because of me. I ran because she told me to, knowing what he would do to her. I've killed her. Please let me be wrong.

"Ash, I'm scared." Pressing my face tighter into her stomach, I let my emotions free. "He's gonna find me, and when he does, he's going to kill you. I can't lose you, Ash. I can't" I cry harder into her. Her shirt is soaking wet now.

"What else are you scared of Spence?"

"Everything" I look up at Ashley's whiskey colored eyes, and the love that is shining through them is very relaxing allowing me to open up more. "If he finds me, I'm gonna wish I was dead after he gets done." Taking a deep breath, "I think he killed Nancy, or at least hurt her badly. There has been many times that I've found her passed out from a beating." I gather up the rest of my nerve to finish the story. I owe it to Ash to tell her. She's risking her life by being with me, so I need to be honest now more then ever.

"Tell me" Soft finger tips trace my face.

"I knew both of them before the accident. He was the minister of our church. My family and I where always close with them. They would come over for holidays and such. I always thought of him and Nancy as my second parents to me and my brothers. I never knew what went on behind close doors at their house." My mind travels back to the beginning of when it all started. The signs where there if anyone ever paid attention.

_Rev. James and I pulled up into his driveway thirty minutes after living Mrs. Skidmore's house. My tears haven't stopped since I found out. They're all gone, and I was left behind. Why me? I wanted to die. I didn't want to be alone in this world._

"It'll be okay, darling" His reassuring words broke me out of thought. He always called me darling, never Spencer. I loved my pet name he used. It made me feel special.

Once inside the house, I'm met with warmth, and the smell of food cooking. This was going to be my new home.

"We'll get whatever you want from your old bedroom tomorrow." He looks at his watch and sighs. "I'll show you your room before dinner." I follow him down a hallway to a door at the end. "It's not much." The door opens revealing a very small room with a bed. "Get comfortable and come join us." He leaves me alone.

The twin bed barely fits. There is no room for a dresser at all. The only storage space I have is a tiny closet in the corner. Sitting on my new bed, in my new room, I realize for the first time that my life has changed forever. My new life isn't even a day old and I already miss my old life with my family.

Dinner that night was my first clue that everything wasn't what it seems. Nancy never talked and made sure his plate was made before sitting. She waiting on him hand and foot. When his drink ran out she would run to the kitchen to replace it without being asked. My dad always got his own. He never expected mom to wait on him at his every whim.

That night, I heard the quiet pleas from Nancy. She was begging for forgiveness about dinner being late. He was stating rather loudly that it was unacceptable for his dinner not to be on the table waiting for him at six o'clock everyday.

The next sound I heard sent a cold chill through my body. A slap rang down the hallway followed by cries of pain. He had hit her. My dad had never hit any of us. He always said hitting was wrong. My ten year old self wanted to help Nancy, but I wasn't sure how.

The next morning, Nancy's face is covered. She's trying to hide it but I heard it. I know there is a bruise there. "Are you okay? I heard you last night."

The shock and embarrassment, that flows over her face because of my question is immediate. I know I found out her deep, dark secret.

"Spencer, listen to me. You can never tell. He'll kill me or both of us if that happens"

Everything was not as it seems in this house, I was a waiting victim for him to take his anger out on.

**Feed me! I need a smile after an all nighter with my daughter.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Loving all the feedback. Sorry it wasn't sooner with an update but the good news is my daughter is feeling better.**

**Rating: PG-13**

**Sorry this chapter isn't beta's because I decided to go to the park with the kids instead of writing an update soon, so one of them could look it over for me.**

**Don't own anything but the storyline.**

**Chapter 14**

Days and nights flooded together over the next several days. Sleep was my enemy that transported me back to my old life filled of fear and pain. The dreams, I had each night, tore into my wounded soul bringing me farther down into depression. My only light was Ashley. I shared many experiences with her during out short friendship, but I want to know more about her too.

The search for me as grown greatly over these last couple of weeks. Their search span increased through several counties. They where close to me. Closer then they realized. Hiding might not be an option soon. Ashley knows this too. I've seen it in her eyes when she looks at me. She scared that they'll find us before I'm ready.

"Let's get you out of this house." Ashley sat beside me on the couch. The tv has become my window into the world. Watching the search reports for me, I hope they don't get any closer.

"It's not safe out there. They're looking for me." My eyes never leave the screen.

Ashley sighs beside me. "Please Spence." She whines. "I want to show you something. I promise no one will see us." Pouting, I know I can't refuse now.

"Okay" Smiling a little, I wonder what she wants to show me.

To my surprise, we didn't get in her car. Instead, Ashley pulled me towards a small path leading away from our cottage.

The path was narrow but allowed us to be able to walk side by side to our destination. Neither of us talked as we walked, and our shoulders would graze each other ever so often. The silence was comfortable and peaceful. Birds and small creatures could be heard all around us. The sounds of the city where long gone. Wind rustling through the trees, sung to us during hike. It was beautiful here.

The woods seemed to close in around us the further we went. Sunlight broke through the trees giving light that made everything feel surreal like nothing is or was real. It's all a fantasy. My fantasy that I control.

In front of us, a bright light shone, revealing an opening in the woods. Closer and closer we got the brighter the light got until we where in it. It took a minute for my eyes to focus on the scenery in front of me. We where standing in a vast open field covered in wildflowers. Different colors painted the landscape for as far as I could see.

"Ash, This is... this is... it's amazingly beautiful." Shocked by the view in front of me, I barely manage to get that out.

"My dad showed me this place when I was little. He said it was our special spot that we could talk about anything at all and nothing bad could hurt us." Her gaze was far off in the distance. She was remembering her happy moments with her father.

"I remember when I was about thirteen or fourteen my dad finally decided to come visit me..."

"_You are a worthless piece of trash!" Christine shouted at her young teenage daughter._

_The young brunette stared at the floor while her mother continued her unrelenting verbal abuse. Tears filled the sad whiskey colored eyes at the words that flowed from her mother's mouth. She had shared a secret with her. One that she thought her loving mom would understand. The results was the current verbal bashing._

"_Your father will have nothing to do with you after you tell him you're gay." The venom in her mother's word tore into her skin_.

"_Daddy loves me. He wouldn't..." Brown curls shook back and forth as she disagreed with her mother._

_Don't count on it. You little bitch." with that said, her mother slammed the door to her daughter's bedroom behind her._

_Tears ran freely down her face, she was scared that her mother's words where right about her daddy. Would he still her? Would his words hurt more so then her mothers? _

_Waiting for hours for her dad to show, she manage to pull herself together for him. He was waiting at the bottom of the stairs for her with a small on his face. Ashley ran into his arms wanting to feel his warmth and love. She wondered if her mother had told him yet or was she going to leave it up to her._

"_I've missed you, baby girl." Her father embraced her tighter enjoying the small moment with his daughter that he truly missed everyday. _

"_I missed you too, daddy." A sniffle reply came._

"_Come on let's get out of here. I want to show you something." He smiled at her before pulling her towards the car._

_They drove for several hours north. Finally coming to a stop in front of a large cabin in the middle of nowhere. The beautiful landscape of flowers and plants lined the front of the house. _

"_I bought this place for us." He looked over to his daughter and smiled at her amazement. "No one else knows about this place. Here." He handed her a key to the house with a promise of not to share this secret with her mother._ _Agreeing easily, her mind returned to the earlier conversation with her mother. She knew she had to tell her father before her mother beat her to it._

"_It's beautiful dad."_

"_There's one more thing I want to show you." Climbing out the car, I followed him down a small path through the woods._

_The open field of flowers at the end of the path flowed for miles in front of us. "This is why I bought the house. The field of flowers." He continued to look out into the open. "Tell me why you where so upset when I picked you up today. I could tell you where crying." His dark warm eyes burned into me waiting for my answer._

"_Dad, I... I" Trying to tell him, I kept chickening out._

"_Anything you say to me here is safe. Remember, baby girl, I love you no matter what." He took my hand and squeezed it. Urging me to go on._

"_I'm gay" I whispered to him waiting for the onslaught of hatred to come. It never did._

_His smile grew at my confession, "I guess we have more in common then I thought" he pulled me into a giant bear hug. He whispered into my ear "I'll always love you no matter what. You are my baby girl."_

"He was killed later that night after he took me home." My rock, my Ashley wiped away the tears that fell during her story. Her father loved her very much. I wonder if my dad would of acted the same way if I had the chance to tell him.

Taking a deep breath, I decide to share a secret with her that I've only ever told to two people. "Ashley?"

"Hmm?" She smiles a tear stain face at me want to know what I want.

"I have something I need to tell you." Looking into her eyes, I see the love and understanding shine through. "I'm gay." It's whispered but I've told someone else after five years of silence. I told Ashley the reason behind a lot of my pain. She doesn't realize it yet.

Taking my hand in hers, she squeezes it. "Thank you for trusting me with that part of yourself." Ashley pulls me into a hug carefully. She trying to avoid hurting my back. She whispers to me "I'll always love you no matter what." I tighten my hold on her. She is the first person I've told that has accepted me for me.

"Come on. It's getting late. Let's head back home." She never releases my hand, and we walk back to the cottage, our home, hand in hand.

I'll never be able to repay her for all she's done for me.

**Happy Father's Day!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Thanks to everyone who has left me feedback. **

**To my beta Scouse thank you for all the help!**

**Rating: R for violence**

**Flashback in Italics**

**Don't own anything but the storyline**

**Chapter 15**

Time has almost completely run out for me. They are so close to finding me. Every noise I hear makes me jump in fear thinking they have found me. They want to take me away from here, away from Ashley and send me back to hell to him. Who are they? They are the police and FBI that are now searching the country for me. I need to come forward and tell my story soon before it's too late.

Everyone has painted him as a victim, a man who has lost his daughter. No one sees him for what he truly his. A monster. Turning a TV on means seeing his face and hearing his voice on every channel. I cannot believe the coverage they are giving him to find me. Pictures of his congregations hanging flyers and stuff fill the TV when he is not present. They all are looking for me but what they don't realize is I don't want to be found.

Nancy has still not appeared on the TV. I am worried about her. He could have killed her already or maybe he has beaten her so badly that she is unable to show her face without questions being asked.

My bruises on the other hand are fading fast. It's strange not getting backhanded or smacked everyday; however, it is something I could get used to pretty fast.

Ashley has stayed with me every night in my room since that first time she woke me up from my nightmare. Her arms wrap around me to protect me and keep the bad dreams away. Sleep has never come as easy as it does when she's with me.

The love and safety that she has given me without question has made me strong. I need her, and I haven't needed anyone since my family died.

Stirring from behind me brakes my train of thought, Ashley is finally waking up.

"Spence?" Her sleep-filled voice invades my silence. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking about things."

"Tell me" Rolling over, I'm met with beautiful brown eyes filled with so many questions about my past. "Tell me about the first time" Her soft fingers gently glide over my cheek and into my hair brushing it out of my face.

"Which one?" The confusion at my reply fades quickly when she realizes what I'm asking.

"Whatever one you are comfortable talking about, or you can just tell me something else" She covers my hand with hers waiting for me to start.

"I had only been with them for about two weeks when he started to show his true nature to me."

"_Spencer, Come in here!" Uncle Earl shouted that's what he wanted me call him now._

"_Yes sir?" I came into the living room wondering what he needed. I knew he had struck Nancy before, but I hadn't seen or heard him do it since. I figured their argument got out of hand. _

"_Nancy went to the store to get groceries. Fix me something to eat, I'm hungry." He his eyes never left the TV. Being a ten year old, I hadn't a clue how to make anything. My mom and dad always took care of that._

"_I don't know how..." My statement was left unfinished as he stood towering over me. His large rough hands dwarfed my arms as they squeezed around them._

_Squeezing tighter, he shook me as he spit out his command into my face. "Get your ass in that kitchen and make me something to eat NOW!" Uncle Earl's last word was screamed out. He was seething at me. Hatred and anger poured from his body directed at me._

_Unable to speak at that moment, I nodded my head that I understood before he released my arms. _

"_Good. The faster you learn your place in this house the better. Women are supposed to serve men and tend to their needs before their own." He looked at his watch. "You've got thirty minutes to have my food in front of me." As if nothing happened, he sat back down and continued to watch the TV._

_My arms throbbed from where his hands were. Tears ran down my face as I ran around the kitchen trying to figure out what to do. The clock on the microwave counted down the minutes for me._

_In the pantry, I spotted a can of chicken noodle soup, and I figured that couldn't be too hard to make. Following the directions on the can, I quickly made his snack for him. _

_Finding a serving tray underneath the sink, I sat his bowl of soup on it before getting a soda out of the fridge. I prayed to God that he would be happy with what I made him, so I could go back to my room until Nancy came back. _

_Careful not to spill any of it, I slowly walked into the living room to him. The steam from the soup left a trail of my path from the kitchen. _

"_Here is your food, sir" I held the tray beside him waiting for him to take it._

_Looking at me and at the tray, Uncle Earl stood up "What is this?"_

"_Chicken Noodle soup." I spoke barely above a whisper waiting for his approval. _

_He took the tray and sat it down on the couch before looking back at me "I didn't want soup." There were no thanks in his words. "I wanted a BLT" I watched as his anger built up in front of my eyes._

"_Sorry... you didn't... tell me... what you'd... want," I stuttered out wishing Nancy were here to help._

"_Sorry is not going to get me what I want." Flames shot from his eyes before I could recognize his movement._

_His giant hand covered the whole side of my face as it met it with the first slap sending me to the ground. Tears freely ran from my eyes at the pain from the contact of skin on skin. That was the first time; I have ever been hit in my life. I had a feeling it was going to be my last. _

_Standing over my quaking body, he glared at me as he continued on his rant. "You will do what I ask when I ask. No questions asked. Whatever happens in this house stays here. You do NOT question my rules or disagree with me. EVER!" A size twelve boot goes deep into my stomach knocking the air out of my lungs. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!"_

_All I could do was shake my tear stained face as I laid on the ground gasping for air. _

"He would find any reason, no matter how small, to punish me after that." Ash's thump wiped away a few stray tears.

"He doesn't deserve your tears," she whispers to me before placing a small kiss to my forehead.

"I know, but it hurts to think about the past." I look into her eyes wanting to see the love and understanding in them before I tell her the next part. "The other didn't start until after I told him I was gay."

Her expression is unrecognizable to me; I think it's a combination of fear and sadness rolled into one at my final admission to her. "I'm so sorry that happened to you Spence, but we need to go to the police. You have to tell them the truth about him. What he did to you is so wrong on so many different levels. Plus, Nancy is in more danger each day we wait." Her eyes roam my face looking for my reaction to her statement. "You are strong enough to stand up to him. I know you are. Just believe in yourself Spencer. Like I believe in you."

She believes in me, and she thinks I'm strong. More tears fall but these are not sad ones. They are happy tears for the way she has made me feel these last few weeks. With Ashley by my side, I know I can do it. I can take a stand against my nightmare.

The darkness will not hold me back anymore.

"Okay. It's time to go back"


	17. Chapter 17

**Sorry for the wait. I'm still unsure of this chapter. Sorry if it sucks.**

**Thanks to my wonderful beta Scouse!!**

**Rating: Hard R for Abuse **

**Flashback in**_** Italics**_

**I don't own anything but the storyline. I also own Earl and Nancy, but I might refuse to admit to Earl's ownership**

Chapter 16

The road stretches for miles in front of us and behind us. We've been in the car for the last forty-five minutes. We are running but this time it feels like I'm running from my home. I would give anything to be able to turn around right now and forget everything but that's not going to happen. "Be strong Spencer!" I keep repeating in my head. I'm scared shitless.

Times up. It's now or never.

My battle with my demons has begun. Everything from fear to nervousness has invaded me. I'm scared of what might happen. What if they don't believe me? Every kind of what if has run through my mind. Ashley keeps reminding me we have proof. We have the hospital records. Not to mention some of the bruises that have yet to fade away.

My mind wonders over all the disappointments I've had these last seven years. One of the ones that stand out the most is the first birthday I had with them or lack there of.

_For the first time in six months, I wake up excited. It's my eleventh birthday, and I wonder what I have gotten._

_Changing out of my pj's and into t-shirt and jeans, I rush down the stairs into the kitchen. Completely forgetting about his rule of making my bed every morning._

_Busting into the kitchen, I wait for the "happy birthday" acknowledgment. My smile falters when none comes. Nancy is cooking his breakfast. Her back is turned to me as she asks me to get the table set and his drink. _

_Doing so quickly, I figure maybe she's waiting for him to wish me a happy birthday and give me my present._

"_Spencer, is the table ready? He'll be down soon." She asks. _

_Nancy finally turns around to face me holding his plate, and I see the damage done to her last night. Her black eye is swollen shut, and a cut lines her left cheek. He must have left his ring on this time._

"_Nancy are you..." My question is cut short as Uncle Earl enters the kitchen seething._

_Sitting down at his spot, he starts eating his food vigorously in front of us. Not a single word has left his lips or a glance in our direction. His rules are always followed. I hate this rule the most. We are not allowed to eat until after he is done. Then we are allowed to share what ever he hasn't eaten that has been cooked. _

_Looking over at the stove, I notice there is still plenty to eat as long as he doesn't go for second and thirds this time. _

_Polishing off his plate of food, he asks for another helping. A sinking feeling in my stomach, I realize that today I will be hungry. There is only enough left to feed one small person on the stove. Nancy and I will have to share._

_Finishing his second plate, he stands leaving his plate on the table. He looks directly at me, and my heart starts pounding at what I might have done to warrant his attention today on my birthday._

"_Spencer, come with me." Backing into Nancy for protection, I stare at him. "Nancy, clean up the mess in here!"_

_Before I can move, he grabs my arm pulling me violently towards the hallway. Throwing me into my bedroom door, "Get in there. NOW!" he screams. _

_Entering my room, I notice my unmade bed. How could I have forgotten? I know it's against the rules. It's number seven in his list of rules. _

"_Spencer?" I look at him even though I know exactly what he's going to say. "You must be punished in order to receive forgiveness."_

_Before I can blink, his hand has made contact with my face sending me to the ground. I can taste the blood in my mouth from the cut._

"_You know better then to let your room get dirty" He's standing directly over me now. I quickly look around my room to notice the rest of the room is spotless; however, he changes that very quickly. His arms sweep across the top of my dressers sending everything to the ground. The glass items shatter. _

_Anger getting the better of him, he tears through the rest of my room pulling out all my clothes and dumping them on the floor. He looks around the room quickly spotting the mouse sitting on my bed. It's Fievel from the An American Tale movie. My grandparents had gotten him for me before they died. He is the only thing I have to remember my family by. Everything else was sold or given away at Uncle Earl's request. He takes him off the bed. Looking at him for a moment, He rips his head off._

"_NO!" I cry out. Tears flowing at the loss of my only treasured toy._

_He throws the shredded stuffed animal to the ground before turning his attention back at me. I'm still on the ground shocked by what has just happened. "Clean this room up, when you're done start in the bathroom and don't stop cleaning until every room in this house is spotless." His orders are followed by a swift kick in the ribs. _

_He stops at my doorway before leaving me to my mess. Smirking at me, he says "Happy Birthday."_

_Tears falling, I realize there will be nothing happy about any of my birthdays again._

"Spencer, are you okay?" Ashley asks bringing me back to reality. I must have been out of it for a while.

"Yeah. I was just thinking." I reply, but I'm still staring out the window watching the scenery pass by in a zip.

"Want to tell me about it?" I shake my head no. I don't want to think about that anymore.

A hand covers mine within seconds. It's Ashley's. "We'll be back in LA in about thirty minutes. I guess we need to go straight to police station before anybody spots you."

"Ashley, what if they don't believe me? What if they send me back with him? What if..." Ash cuts me off before I can work myself up too much.

"Spence, calm down. We have proof. They even have DNA to match to him. It'll be fine. I promise."

The lights of the city appear in the distance. We are almost back. Back to my nightmare that I'm about to stare straight into the eyes of.

I've must of started shaking because Ash squeezed my hand for reassurance. "Everything will be okay." She smiles and releases my hand. "Let's listen to the radio to keep our mind off what's about to happen." Flipping the radio on, she hits the scan button for the first channel to come through. Her hand goes right back into mine.

A voice on the radio booms through the car. It's a new report. "Nancy James was taken to County General suffering serious injuries. Her husband Rev. James, whose daughter Spencer went missing three weeks ago, informed us that she was in a car accident, but we have been unable to find out any other information at this time. Please stay tuned for more."

A car accident? That can't be. He doesn't let her drive or even near a car. He's scared that she would run off. It couldn't have been a car accident. I know it. He beat her and tried to cover it up with a car accident. We need to get to the hospital. I hope it's not too bad.

"Ash we need to get to hospital" Sadness washing over me at the thought that it might be my entire fault if she dies.

The car roles into the hospital parking lot thirty minutes later, and I bolt out of the car wanting to find Nancy with no care for my own well-being. He is probably here playing the part of the perfect husband, and I'm running right to him.

"Spence!" Ashley runs after me. "Wait for me!" She didn't have to work hard to catch me since I have two cracked ribs that haven't healed completely yet.

An older woman is sitting at the front desk when we enter. I don't even take the time to look around the room for him. Banging on the counter to get her attention, "Where is Nancy James?" I have to make sure she is okay.

The woman finally looks up a me, and a realization of who I am comes across her features. She knows who I am. "You're Spencer Carlin," she says shocked to see me. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

"Nancy James?" Ashley asks for me again.

"Room 312 in ICU"

"Thank you" Ashley takes my hand and drags me off to the elevators. I look back at the office clerk one last time, and I notice she is on the phone.

(DING!) The elevator opens on the third floor where the ICU is located. Ashley hasn't let go of my hand. She knows I need her strength right now.

Surveying the area, I assume it's all clear since he's not in sight. A nurse at the desk spots us. She stares at us all the way to her. She knows who I am too.

"I'm here to see Nancy James" The red headed nurse just looks at me before gesturing behind me.

Turning around, the darkness over takes me. He is here, and he's smirking at me. I'm frozen in fear as he approaches me. Shaking rakes my entire body as the scent of Old Spice fills my nostrils.

"Spencer?" Ashley is tugging on my arm but I can't look at her. He has me trapped. "Spencer, come on." Her pleas cause me to turn to her. She's scared. She is really scared, and her eyes give it all away. "SPENCER WATCH OUT!"

I turn back just in time to catch his hand slapping across my face. The burning throbbing pain running through my face brings tears to my eyes. "You thought you could get away from me you little bitch." Ashley and I only hear his whispered threat. "You're going to regret ever trying to leave." His rough hands wrap around me and fling me into the wall behind him. Looking up from the floor, I see him move closer to Ashley. He's going to hurt her too. In slow motion, I watch his fist pull back to strike. Somewhere, somehow, I get up and rush towards them. I will not let him lay a finger on her.

"NO!" He turns to me. He's shocked that I've spoke. Before he can say something, he is falling over on the ground gasping for air from the foot that has come in contact with his balls.

I did it. I finally stood up to him. I fought back.

"I will not let you hurt me anymore!" Ash moves beside me. "I'm not staying silent anymore. You've beat me! You RAPED me because I told you I was gay." Tears falling, I continue with my admission. "You tortured Nancy and me for years but no more." Taking a deep breath. "No more Uncle Earl. No more."

"Is that true?" An unknown voice asks from behind me. Turning around, I'm staring at two police officers. A man and woman.

"Yes"

**Let me know what you think**


	18. Chapter 18

**Sorry for the long wait but I was busy being a beach bum! God I love the beach.**

**Thanks to my wonderful and amazing beta Scouse! **

**Flashback in Italics**

**Rating: R**

**Don't own anything but the storyline! I do have dreams of owning Spencer though. (Not nice thoughts)**

**Chapter 17**

One word can change everything. Just one little simple word. It's amazing really that all this time I refused to talk out of fear when the answer to my problems was the exact opposite. I had to speak in order for anything to change. Telling anyone and everyone until someone listened to me. I should have never stopped after the Sunday school teacher. Maybe if I hadn't stopped then I might not be sitting in a hospital right now waiting to find out if Nancy is going to make it. I should have stood up to him sooner.

Ashley hasn't left my side since they took him away in handcuffs. They believed me and not just because of the hospital report of my injuries either. The officer that took my report told me that a dozen or so news vans are parked outside the hospital. Apparently, someone tipped them off that I've reappeared, and that the Rev. Earl T James was arrested.

Overall, it has been an interesting night.

"Has there been anymore news?" Ashley asks after she hands me a coffee. She went to get us both a couple of coffees.

"No. They said she was going into surgery again tonight. The internal bleeding hasn't stopped." Wiping away a few tears, I take a sip of my drink. I'm really scared that I'm going to lose her.

"She'll be fine Spence. She's a fighter." Somehow, she knows what I need that very moment. Ash pulls me into her giving me warmth and love. With her arms wrapped around me, I feel protected and safe like nothing bad can happen.

Leaning my head on her shoulder, I take in the scent that is Ashley alone. "You think so?"

"Know so." She pulls me in closer to her body. "Tell me about a happy memory." She whispers into my ear and places a kiss to my temple.

"What do you want to know? I don't remember a lot from before." I say ashamed.

"Whatever you want."

"Okay"

"I was eight years old, and my mom and dad decided to take all of us to the lake for a picnic."

"_Daddy hurry up! I want to swim!" I yelled out. He was taking forever to unload everything out of the car._

_I wasn't allowed to go near the water alone yet. My mom felt safer if she or my dad was near by since I was somewhat of a daredevil in the water. I knew no limits. Glen was a lot like me too. We where both a hand full to keep up with when we where near water. Clay, on the other hand, was scared of the water. It took a lot of coaching to get him in at first but once he was that was it. He loved it._

_The lake was large so there were many people on top of each other in the water. The white beach sand felt soft between my toes. I knew I had to build a giant sand castle in it, but that would have to wait until later. First, I was gonna swim. I already had my swimsuit and lotion on. Dive mask in hand, I wait impatiently for my mom and dad to finish unloading the dang car. Clay and Glen where already at the water waiting. Mom wouldn't let me because she knew I wouldn't wait to get in._

"_Alright Spencer. Come on" My mom huffed carrying a basket and blanket. Dad has the small grill and cooler._

_All smiles, I run towards the water without a care in the world. My feet hit the water and that first rush cold runs up my body. "Not to deep Spencer!" _

"_Alright mommy!" I call back to her as I wade further in. I'm so going to find an alligator today. I've read about them in school. I'm just not sure if there are any in Ohio, but I will find out today. It's my goal._

_My mask in place, I swim around the lake pushing the boundaries my mother set for me. My father has already started the grill up. He's cooking his world famous hamburgers for us. My brothers are splashing around and wrestling with each other. I'm not allowed to wrestle with them because I might get hurt._

_Forty-five minutes into my search, my dad yells for us to come in. The foods ready. _

"_Glen you're a pig!" I laugh at him because he's already wolfed down two burgers in the time it takes me to eat one._

_He sticks his tongue out at me before throwing a pretzel at me. He never verbally responds to my comment._

_Food eaten and cleaned up, it's time to build a sand castle while our food settles. Sometimes it sucks having a mom that's a doctor. We always have to follow the thirty-minute rule after eating._

_It's not much of one, but I did it on my own this time. I'm very proud of it. I think a giant hill would better describe it more so then a castle._

"_GLEN!" I scream. He's fallen on top of my sand castle ruining it._

"_I'm so sorry Spence. How about Clay and I help you build a new one." My tears vanish at the thought of them helping me build a new one. It'll be much better this time._

_The three of us work on our sand castle for an entire hour. It's huge and it looks like a castle this time. Mom takes a picture of us in front of it as a reminder of today. _

"I never did find any alligators in that lake." I smile into Ash's neck at that thought.

"Your family sounded great. I would have loved to meet them." She kisses my head again.

"NANCY JAMES?" A man in scrubs comes into the waiting room. He has blood all over the front of him.

"Yes?" It's a weak whispered reply.

"Are you family?" He asks.

"I'm her daughter." He looks sad and defeated. This can't be good.

He takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry. We tried everything to stop the bleeding, but she lost too much blood." The sadness in his eyes speaks volumes.

"What?" I don't want to believe what he's telling me just yet. She can't be.

"I'm sorry, but she died in surgery." He turns and leaves me in the room.

The walls are closing in around me. This cannot be happening. She can't be dead. She can't be. It's all my fault. If I hadn't left, she would still be here. He killed her because of me. I hate him. I hate him so much.

"Spencer" A hand goes to my shoulder, and I turn around staring at her sad brown eyes. She's crying too. "I'm so sorry." She hugs me. Letting me cry. "You're not alone. I'm here. We'll figure it out." Her hold on me tightens as we soak each other's shirts in tears. "He'll pay for this."

"It's my fault" I choke out.

"NO!" She forces me to look at her. "None of this is your fault. That sick bastard is completely at fault."

I want to believe her but it's hard. If I lose Ashley, I will be completely alone in this world. She's all I have left, and I plan to hold on forever.


	19. Chapter 19

**Did I make it back in time for the BBQ?**

**Sorry for the long wait. Just been dealing with life. Thank you all for the support of this story. It really means a lot to me.**

**A special thanks to my love Scouse for being my beta. **

**Rating: PG **

**I own nothing but the storyline.**

**Chapter 18**

Everything changes, just like the tide. From one day to the next, it's never the same. Without changes, nothing will improve or fail. Changes happen everyday whether we want it or not.

"Let's go home baby." Ashley whispers into my ear. We've been sitting in the hospital for the last three hours adjusting to the news of Nancy's Death.

"What home?" I deadpan.

"Ours." She says standing up and offering me a hand.

Our home. What a novel thought. That is the best sound in the world to me. Our home. I love that idea. I just hope it will stay that way.

Since the Rev was taken away, I'm not sure what or how much the media knows about what really happened. It's only a matter of time until the whole true story is in the media though.

Ashley devises a plan for me to get out unseen. She's going to go get the car and pull around to one of the exits in the back.

Waiting for the horn, I stand just inside the door. I hope she hurries. I hate standing around by myself. A horn sounds breaking me from my thoughts. She's here.

Climbing into the car, I lower myself in the seat so not to been seen.

"Take me home Ash" is whispered into my knees. The tears are unseen at the moment but they are there.

"Okay, hold on"

Pulling into Ashley's driveway, I realize for the first time that I'm home. This is exactly where I want to be.

"Come on let's go inside" Ashley holds out her hand to help me out of the car. Tear stained and sniffling, I nod my head in agreement before taking her hand.

No words are spoken, not yet anyway, as we make our way up to Ash's bedroom. My hand never leaving hers. I don't ever want to lose the warmth I feel from her slightest touch.

Still nothing is said as we enter the room. Sitting on the bed, I watch as my guardian angel, that's what I've nicknamed her on the way over here, gets us some t-shirts and boxers to sleep in.

I've come to the conclusion that I love her as more then a friend. I just hope she feels the same way. However, I'm not in the right state of mind to for thinking about her like this. I have other issues that have to be taken care of. I just need to... need to... Maybe, I should just sleep on all my thoughts for tonight.

"Spence? Sweetie? Are you okay? Please talk to me." Ash is kneeling in front of me. Her eyes convey all the warmth and love I've craved for years from someone.

"Why?" It's whispered, and it's the same question I asked her originally but this time I'm wanting a different answer.

"Why what?" She's staring me directly in the eyes.

"Why have you done all this for me without any worry about yourself?"

A smile stretches across her face when she realizes what I'm asking. "That's the easiest question to answer." She stands up and pulls me to her. "It's simple. I have fallen in love with you. You are an amazing and strong person Spencer. How could I not fall in love with you?"

A smile stretches across my face too, for the first time today. She loves me like I love her.

"I love you too" as soon as my confession is complete, her lips barely brush over mine in a simple but loving kiss. "Can we go slow? I've never..."

Cutting me off she answers my question. "We have all the time in the world. I know it's all new for you, and it's new for me too. I've never loved anyone before you."


	20. Chapter 20

**I'm so sorry for the long wait. I've been homeless and had to move back home with the parents with my two kids. It's not the best of environments for me and the kids to be living in. I hope I still have some readers left. Please enjoy my short update. I promise to try and get more out soon.**

**Thanks to my beta Scouse. I love you baby**

**Rated: PG**

**I don't own anything but the storyline**

**Chapter 19**

It's all a dream. I am not really free. Am I? Did yesterday happen? It can't be. The monster will be here to wake me up soon and with that, the darkness that has seemed to disappear will surround me again.

Nancy is dead. He killed her because of me. It's all my fault. I know it is no matter what anyone else says. She died because of me.

Finally forcing my eyes open, I take in my surroundings. I'm in Ashley's room. It's safe here.

Feeling an arm wrap around me and pulling me close, I freeze in fear before realizing it's Ash. We kissed last night. It was my first kiss, and it was wonderful. Her lips where so soft and gentle on mine. I could easily become addicted to them.

"Spence, are you awake?" Ashley breathes into the back of my neck. Sleep still filling her voice.

"Yes"

"We should get up. We have a lot to do today, but staying in bed cuddling with you sounds better." I smile at the thought of staying here all day like; however; it's short lived when I realize what I have to do today.

"Let's stay here" snuggling more into the embrace "I don't want to deal with anything else today."

"I wish we could baby, but we have to go file a report with the police today." She called me baby. Another smile erupts across my face.

"Okay"

Talking to other people is so hard for me. I have been silent for so long. It's hard to break free from it but I must do it for me and for Nancy.

I remember how her face lit up when she heard me talk after so many years. Now I must talk again to someone who is not Ashley. I have to do this. This is what Nancy would have wanted. Me to be free of him forever. I think that is what she always wanted, and I am going to see that it happens now.

I won't remain silent about what happened behind those closed doors anymore. I will talk and tell my story and Nancy's. He will pay for everything that he did and stole from us. He stole my childhood from me, and I will never be able to get that back. He stole Nancy's life.

He will not get away with what he has done to us. I will fight him.

Earl is going to pay for what he did to us for all those years.


	21. Chapter 21

The very long awaited update! I am truly sorry for the wait. I have good excuses too which include losing internet, computer's motherboard dying, and most importantly the love of my life Kayla moving 4,500 miles to be with me. It's short but it felt like a good place to stop.

Sadly this is the end, but I will be working on the sequel in the near future. KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN!

Beta'd by Scouse aka my love who just bit my arm OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rated: PG

Chapter 20 Wild Horses

Everything around me is moving so fast. I am, however, on the steps of a police station moving in slow motion. Ashley is next to me holding my hand tight. She has become my rock. She is my life.

She is looking at me. I know she feels me shaking. I haven't stopped since I got in the car to come here.

"Spence are you okay?"

Not trusting myself to speak, I just nod my head that I am.

"Okay honey. Just remember, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." Her finger tips brush my hair back behind my ears as she smiles at me.

Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I remember something Nancy told me a few years back, but until now I never understood what she meant.

I was in so much pain from the broken ribs I had. She had told me to think of wild horses. That had been what she thought of every time to get through the pain that he caused her.

Wild horses to her meant freedom. They ran free like the wind, never trapped by walls or fences. They did what they wanted and went where they wanted.

I've wanted that for years. Now today, I finally have it.

"I'm ready to go inside." Looking at the doors in front of me, I squeeze Ash's hand on last time.

Taking each step towards those double doors, All I can think of is the pain Nancy and I suffered at his hands. The tears, the screams, and the cries that never seemed to end. Just like my never ending nightmares.

He is still there every time I close my eyes. I see his face. I feel his rough hands against me. I can still smell the scent of Old Spice. I don't want him there. I want to be completely free of him. I want to run with the wild horses.

I see the person I want to be and with each step I take I am one step closer to being her. Throwing caution to the wind, I continue in my journey. Jumping head first into my new future. My future with Ashley. I am going to be free. Being scared isn't an option anymore.

"You ready?" Ashley asks holding the door open for me.

"I am" I smile, and I think of the wild horses.

We walk in and the doors close behind us. Leaving the old me on steps, the new me moves forward towards my new life and new future.

I can't remember a time in the past seven years that I have been this happy. This is it. Everything changes after today.

Today the silence dies forever. Today I am free.

The End!

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I hope you've enjoyed this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it


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